Today I was at the

book fair in Frankfurt.

I wanted to meet my friend and author Roberto Sastre there.

I will write a separate blogpost about the reunion with him.

When I left hall 3 where there were mainly children books, comics and presumably human beings in Manga costumes, it happened.

I was suddenly grabbed quite ruthless on the handles of my wheelchair by an unknown guy and was pushed without asking me quite snappy across a small road to the main plaza of the fair.

Except me, there were only pedestrians on this road, the passage was closed to traffic.
Even shouting didn’t help, the guy didn’t let go my handles.

I was rather in panic, but was lucky that this guy didn’t push me out of my wheelchair.

If there would have been a small curb I would have been licking the pavement.

What was happening???

Just in the moment when I was at the other side of the road three black cars with flashing blue light came speeding around the corner.
One of the limousines had the

license plate 0-1

and two coloured flags with a black eagle on the wings.
Actually our

Federal President Joachim Gauck

was sitting in the back of the car.
This would have been something again if the bodyguard of our head of state would have pushed me out of the wheelchair.

Who doesn’t know my “Eigude blog” (click Frontpage) should know that last time I fell out of my wheelchair I broke my shinbone and fibula (see older blogposts).

When I explained to the guy with the ear piece that I didn’t like this he told me:

This is the president, it is like it is!!!

When I was driving home in my car this convoy blocked me again, now our president is spending the night in a grand hotel around the corner of my home.

I would be interested if this bodyguard has ever pushed around Mr Schäuble (translator’s note: the German minister of Finance is sitting in a wheelchair).

Translator BL

The variant to beat them up with a hammer or to throw the jars and bottles in the easiest way on the floor to open them is working excellently, but proved out to be inefficient in practice after a longer test phase.

I have reported already several times about special openers, (see older blogposts).

As self-confessed roamer on websites of the most different online medical supply stores I have found two new models made from silicone. The sunflower bottle opener

Model Geniosa

is working quite well, but needs getting used to. The

blue jar opener

has convinced me completely with its splines on the in- and outside whereby it gets a good grip, and is in my opinion even a little bit better than its competitor product of the company Dycem, whose products I think are excellent.

Source of supply of both items at www.dein-sanitätshaus.de

I assume no responsibility for an aching head on the next day after an extensive test series of the openers with e.g. a bottle of vodka and a jar of figs

Translator BL

She is only a couple of months older than me.

Happy

40th Birthday

Click on tag “Maus (Mouse)” to view older “Maus” stories.

Translator BL

]]> http://www.eigude.de/blog/?feed=rss2&p=5497&lang=zh 0 http://www.eigude.de/blog/?p=5175&lang=zh http://www.eigude.de/blog/?p=5175&lang=zh#comments Sat, 29 Jan 2011 12:07:44 +0000 Rollinator http://www.eigude.de/blog/?p=5175 “Die Maus”

(translator’s note: The Mouse, a popular character from German kids TV) escorts me since 2,5 years, already at the time when I was still in hospital, back on my rucksack, in my wheelchair life.

Meanwhile I also have the Mouse as figurehead and a Mouse-toolkit on my hand cycle.

Two people from the Aids foundation have pinned an Aids ribbon on it a couple of weeks ago.

My wife has even baked Mouse muffins and Mouse cakes for me.

The Mouse can witness everything what I have experienced.

It will be 40 years this year.

Because I am also facing the 40 and even Wiki couldn’t reveal to me who is older I went to the homepage and have asked the Mouse itself.

The editorial office has sent a very nice e-mail to me.

According to my opinion the exact age of the Mouse should not be concealed.

Extract from this e-mail:
Because the Mouse has entered the world already on March 7th 1971 while you have set foot on this planet as new arrival only 6 months later, the Mouse is clearly the older one.

Of course I had to report this to you.

I am asking to put the date in your calendars and wish the Mouse a happy birthday on March 7th.

Translator BL

Once upon a time there was a little wheelchair driver, I call him “me”,
who was snoring like a giant, so he had to go to sleep laboratory.

Although the hospital is located in the same part of the town where I live, I should/had to stay on a normal ward after the tests in the sleep laboratory at night to doze and wait.

After 3 years with daily required assistance with the morning toilet I thought it wouldn’t be the worst idea to enquire one week in advance if I had to consider anything.
Except that the rooms were accessible (I was rejected to look into the bathroom), I was told by a long-time sister nurse with white bonnet only that I had to bring a shower commode chair myself if I needed one, and that she didn’t have time for me now. (see older blogpost).

She was reproaching later that I only had requests from the start. That’s right, “information”, what a cheek, how could I dare to ask questions about this ward?

One week later I went together with my shower commode chair to the hospital. I had released my girls from the daily home care service.

First night in the sleep laboratory.

Endless cables, ECG, EEG, breath measurement, microphone, camera tracking…

I am not sure if my update was completed successfully.

At 5:30 h to ward, get into bed.
A nurse came around 8:00 h, and a nurse trainee buttered my bread rolls, yummy breakfast.
(I thanked her for that).

Along the way I was told by the inpatient care that I had to stay another night.
I gave way to my senile roommate (he was drinking with preference out my glass and was glued to TV without sound) to go to the bathroom first with the nurse trainee.
My stay in the bathroom always takes a little longer even with assistance, what I also told to the nurse. She replied she would be coming when she had time. Well, I had to have time.

Bonnet, you know who I mean, claimed on the next day that I had sent away the nurse to have some peace in the bathroom. Of course you can interpret it like this if you let your roommate go to the bathroom first.
Around 11:45 h nurse and trainee came, helped me on my shower commode chair and assisted me for around 5 minutes in the bathroom, then they left me alone standing in front of the washing basin.
When I asked about taking a shower I got basically the comment:
You are not dirty, so you don’t need one, and both left the bathroom.

I washed myself as far as it was possible with my motor skills.
The bad thing was that due to pipeline damage I could decide between cold and ice cold water. Retrospectively I didn’t want to take a shower any more.
Somebody could have said something, it was known since a week.

After half an hour I rang the bell.
I was hoping to get assistance for further washing, transfer into bed and putting on the clothes.
How fatal!!!
Bonnet came to the bathroom extremely stressed, asked what I was wanting, she was dishing out the lunch, and she didn’t have gloves. Ehhh… I was just a little late.
Short assistance in the bathroom and got my clothes together by myself. I just made it into bed with her help. Everything very relaxed!
Along the way she told me that once there was another wheelchair user there, and he had brought his own nurse. And I had released my home care girls!
Why have I been there a week before???

I was perplexed, stressed and did without any further help.
I don’t know why I didn’t tell anything to the ward physician who was just in the room.
During the attempt to put on my clothes myself a small older cut opened up and my bed sheet was dotted red.
At 12:00 h a nurse from the sleep laboratory came, my neighbour just got his lunch, she helped me to put on my clothes.
Then I had two examinations, later a sleeping mask was fitted for me, and I was explained in a kind of support group the function and maintenance of a “sleep respirator”. Until then I didn’t see a physician in charge, not that I mind…

15:00 h escape to home, I skipped my lunch which was still standing around.
20:00 h back to the lion’s den.
Before I had just managed that one of my girls would come to the hospital the next morning. Whew…

For inexplicable reasons there was a label with the name of my senile roommate on my pill box. My dope is good. He had diabetes of high degree. Luckily he hadn’t taken any of my pills yet. I locked them up in my closet.

I now had to use my from whomsoever prescribed sleeping mask in the sleep laboratory.

The sleeping mask, model: “I am your father”,

was not my cup of tea.

The alternative variant

type Dumbo

(nasal pillow)

brought me peaceful dreams without snoring. Thanks to nurse Christine for the unbureaucratic help.
This system is very recommendable, I will write a separate blogpost about it.

Around 07:30 h it came between bonnet and me (she came to the room because of my roommate) to a debate regarding the “care” of the previous day.
The bed with the blood spots had never been made either.
My blood pressure is very low and rarely rises above 100.
Bonnet managed within two minutes to bring my blood pressure to around 140 even without any coffee, new record.
I had to hear several times that even handicapped people should say thanks and please!
This to me…, do I have to jump for joy when I may leave the bed at 11:00 h?
Two minutes after the small dispute my home care girl arrived. She told me that she had a suspicion from the start that I would have fun in the hospital.
She was working in this hospital before and knew bonnet with her kindness.
The shower works if you want it, and there was even warm water. Thanks to Vesna. Mysteriously even my bed sheets had been changed after my stay in the bathroom. Now absolutely useless!

It was clear to me that I would leave this building as soon as possible. I visited the physician’s room and had an appointment half an hour later.

12:30 h departure with shower commode chair and anti-snoring device.

Now personally for bonnet:
Thank you that I could leave this ward!!!

The whole stress for 2 examinations and 2 interviews between 12:00 h and 15:00 h on day 1 and one follow-up talk on day 2.

Bonnet reminded me strongly of the “penguin” from the movie “Blues Brothers”.

Translator BL

Mountainbike wheelchair tyres

built.
With my wife I wanted to make a tour around a lake in Austria:

Vilsalpsee

In combination with my shock absorbers and with assistance it is definitely possible to ride or push my wheelchair on hiking paths.
Gravel paths and pot-holes can be handled without great difficulties.
But suddenly I stood in front of a giant

Mud Hole

2 meters wide, 10 cm deep, 5 meters long, it was the path!!!
There even my

Outdoor Wheelchair

reached its limits.

After a couple of walkers who did not declare me completely insane what I am doing on their hiking paths with my wheelchair ensured me that the path would be accessible without any problems after passing the mud hole, and that they would help me, we took a chance.

New gloves, never mind!

No silly pictures were taken when I got stuck in the mud.
With pushing and pulling I got out of the mud and back on track.

At least my hand rims had to be cleaned. Then it is quite helpful when you receive from another walker a big amount of baby wipes which – as she mentioned funny enough – had an apple-peach scent.
Well, the wheelchair wasn’t clean, but smelled nicely.

The supposed accessible path presented the next challenge quickly.
Although the bridge is only 1,5 meters high the ramp is just 4 meters long. Only marginally I would like to mention that I had to go down again on the other side.

(The perspective is misleading.)

I slowly started feeling like Hobbit Frodo from the Shire.

After half of the round course the path around the sea turned into a country lane first and then into a paved highway.

It took the mouse hours with her white tissue until my wheelchair was clean again.

Translator BL

My wheelchair rucksack contains more or less everything what you need to survive in the wild.

For me it takes some effort to take down the rucksack from the back of my wheelchair and rummage around into it to search for something which somebody has stuffed in there.

Probably scientists never have thought about:

Where on a rucksack is front and back?

This question should be clarified once and for all.

I have learnt once that on a car the front is always in driving direction when you are sitting inside.
Driving backwards doesn’t count.

Can I apply this to my wheelchair rucksack as well?

The wheelchair transport drivers always have asked me in which pocket of my rucksack was the card to debit the transport charges?

I would have liked to know it myself… Each time in a different place.

Is the small pocket on the front or the back of the rucksack?

This depends probably from the viewer’s perspective.
For me sitting in the wheelchair it is on the back, for some of the drivers it is on the front, or not???

A solution had to be found. At a visit of the regional broadcasting station I had bought

The “Maus”

(translator’s note: the mouse, popular German children TV character) and fixed it on one pocket of my rucksack.
From this day it only went:

With the mouse!

In the mouse pocket!

In the mouse trap!

Basically the result was quite good.
But now more or less everything is stuffed into the mouse pocket, so that there is a big mess now inside.

Will I have to switch to Walt Disney now and fix a whole toy armada to my rucksack to find the remote control for my stairlift?!

Donations of small accessories with key ring to mark the other pockets will be gladly accepted.

Wheelchair rucksack cuddly toys donation account

Some time I will confuse the drivers totally and fix the “Blue Elephant” (companion of the “Maus”) on my rucksack

Translator BL