November 25th, 2009

„News from the Rollinator (Wheelinator)“

Tips for wheelchair drivers, buckled fingers
and other pedestrians

Odd wheelchair stories and adjuvant consulting service for free.

Eigude (Howdy),

when you, sitting in a wheelchair, have left the hospital or the rehab the drama begins. You are left on your own, and everybody has to re-invent the wheel to manage everyday life.
Therefore this blog with a lot of tips and tricks.

Send me your hints, take photos, leave comments and discuss with us!!!

If you can’t tell anything wise belonging a subject, at least you have to create confusion. ;-)

I can’t press a clothespin, but I can drive a car.

There are no problems, there are just challenges and a big challenge is a project.

Never say die if something doesn’t work out immediately, don’t take it too serious, it’s all occupational therapy!

In October 2007 I sustained a traffic accident.
After eleven months in a hospital I was released, and since then I belong to the

elitist company of the frequent drivers

How is it „going“, click me! (jokes in german)

Type:
Quadriplegic (Tetraplegic/”Teddy”) C4-C7 incomplete, some titan
plates in the neck and a pump for medicals in my belly.

Release September 17th 2008

Into the wild, now the going gets tough!!!

I have got a tremendous adjuvant database.

If you have questions concerning adjuvant or other topics
don’t hesitate to send me an eMail.


To „un-clatter“ wheelchairs is my favourite hobby.


I am adjuvant-marred, advice for free!!!

English version currently under construction.
Articles will be translated from “BL and Teo“, not by Google into English and published step by step.
You can change languages with the Flag!!!
Now translations of all blogposts of the last 12 months available!

Teddy Regards, Rollinator

Contact: rollinator@eigude.de

*Eigude, hessian dialect for hello; hi, howdy…

Next post 25.05.2012

May 13th, 2012

(Deutsch) Hilfsmittel Tipps und Tricks Part XLIX

May 7th, 2012

Sorry, this entry is only available in Deutsch.

Addendum: Chock Part XIII It’s my fault!

May 5th, 2012

Frontpage

In my blogpost of 14.04.12 I expressed the suspicion (see older blogpost), that I am possibly a God of wrong deliveries, because I NEVER receive the ordered medication and adjuvants.

Yesterday the time had come again, yet again the wrong compresses!!

My e-mail was rather short, but with

Memory picture for the warehouse staff

From the medical supply store I received a reply immediately:

…what should I say, I think the previous e-mail is self-explanatory!!!

The picture is going to be my new background ;) )

I even had your case in our department meeting, your name should ring a bell… I don’t know what else I can do… I am really sorry!

 

Shortly afterwards I received the following e-mail in copy:

Please note the 31 exclamation marks in only 7 sentences.

Hello altogether, AND ESPECIALLY DEAR COLLEAGUES FROM OUR WAREHOUSE!!!!!!

It is not even a month ago that our customer Mr Rollinator took unbelievable 3 attempts to receive his compresses in the usual way!

NAMELY VYLENE COMPRESSES FROM MAIMED STERILE!!!!!!!!!

I don’t know why this is such a problem, but it simply can’t be true that the customer has received the wrong compresses yet AGAIN, especially because I have extra pointed out to you that you should look into the following already packed deliveries!!

I am glad that Mr Rollinator is simply an unbelievable patient person, but I would be FRANTIC!!!! And I seriously mean it!!

I don’t think it is funny, because unfortunately I don’t have any apologies left!

Please RETURN THE GOODS AND SEND THE CORRECT ONES AND CHANGE IT DIRECTLY FOR NEXT TIME!!!!!!

(Original colour of the e-mail, name changed)

Translator BL

Bath Reconstruction Neverending Story (last part for the time being)

April 29th, 2012

Frontpage
 

The Stumbling Rock

 

The reconstruction of my narrow pedestrian bathroom to a

Wheelchair Spa

in the autumn of 2008 with the moving of a wall and the installation of an on grade shower was rather nerve-wracking.

Read the older blogposts “Bath Reconstruction Part 1-4″, and decide yourself if the tears come from laughing or crying ;-)

I was already home from hospital for a couple of days when finally the washing basin was mounted.
The reconstruction was virtually finalized after a few weeks already.

There was just one little thing. The new drain of washing basin and bath tub was ailing a little. The water drained off rather reasonably, but after 25 seconds the drain started to communicate in an unknown language with me.

Just like that:
Gurgle, gurgle, rattle, rattle, bubble, bubble and once again.
Sometimes it seemed to call names.

I had a creepy feeling, everybody knows the pipe ghost, the “Moaning Myrtle” from Harry Potter.

After various unsuccessful attempts to “muzzle” the drain pipe professionally by cleaning it with a spiral I decided to visit the pipe ghost with the help of a camera.

Such a film is quite special if you climb through your own drain pipe.
During the reconstruction work a hardly worth mentionable ca. 4 cm x 4 cm small accident happened to the guys, to say a stone got stuck in the drain pipe.

When the gas-water-heating-bath construction-video expert ;-)

told me that the stone can only be removed from my neighbours underneath I was a bit more relaxed.

Then at least they don’t pry open my brand-new bathroom because of the stupid stone.

I felt so sorry for my neighbours that I didn’t arrange the removal of the stone immediately.

Now, 3,5 years later my neighbours have moved out, and the stumbling rock was finally removed.

Currently I don’t miss the “gurgle conversations” in the morning yet. Should I miss them I have filmed a video with the last words of the stone just in case.

Translator BL

Inconceivable…!!!

April 24th, 2012

Frontpage

Post a comment!!!

I don’t have a description for “this” any more!!!

Translator BL

Special Edition!!

April 24th, 2012

Frontpage

Aachen : Eintracht

0 : 3

Mission completed, direct repromotion.

The orthosis was helpful!!!

(see older blogpost)


For the championship celebration 2013 I voluntarily put on the orthosis again.

I am still slightly in „repromotion-mania “!
If my neighbour wouldn’t have called and reminded me of an appointment my car still would have winter tyres… well then… never mind ;-)

Translator BL

Crazy Flash XXIII

April 20th, 2012

Frontpage

caught!!!

Addendum Adjuvant Tips and Tricks XLIX

April 18th, 2012

Frontpage

I am always happy when my blog is not only read, but if other tips are sent to me as well.

In my blog of 04.02.2012 I described (see older blogpost), how fast the disabled parking permit escapes in the car at forceful braking and vanishes into the ventilation slot of the windscreen.

A citizen from Potsdam involved in the problem has given some thought and developed a

Parking Permit Holder

.
This object is great and is awarded after a long-time test for several weeks by the unbribable (except for fresh nut slices), independent Rollinator test team, with the new founded

Roll-On Innovation Award on the Silver Axis

for adjuvants. The parking permit holder is a holder made from Plexiglas in which the conventional disabled or resident parking permits can be inserted.

The holder has a dovetail on the lower part with which it can be put in the much dreaded ventilation slot. Thereby the construction turns upwards, so that the permit clamps in parallel to the windscreen.

The permit thus will be seen very well, but can be removed any time “tetra easily” from the holder.

It is a well-thought new adjuvant which is not only functional, but has a reasonable price as well.

For more information see www.parkausweishalterung.de

Translator BL

Chock Part XIII: It’s my fault!

April 14th, 2012

Frontpage

When I am every 3 months at the beginning of each quarter jumping into the snake pit marked by the sign

“Required medication and adjuvants”

I globally put the blame on myself meanwhile. If nothing works out right away despite all my efforts, it has to be up to myself, otherwise it is not explicable to me anymore.

In the novel “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” by Doulas Adams there is a truck driver who is always on the road in the rain. Unbelievable… he is a rain god, he just doesn’t know it himself.

It is probably similar with me and my orders of medication and adjuvants, otherwise I would have to claim that nobody does his work properly anymore, and I don’t want to be assumptive.

After I paid my 10 €-membership fee every 3 months (translator’s note: as a member of a public health insurance in Germany you have to pay a surcharge of 10 € per quarter for medical consultation) the fun begins. I get a bunch of prescriptions from my family physician, where you can’t expect at 16 positions that everything is filled out correctly. It must be my karma that even the corrected prescriptions include minor errors sometimes.

If everything is correct, the prescriptions are split in two piles, adjuvant and medication prescriptions, and then scanned immediately, because I don’t trust myself anymore.

I would like to point out here that I always pretty much need the same stuff.

I place the order of the adjuvants per e-mail and attach the scanned prescriptions, and I send the original prescriptions by good old mail later.

For my pharmacy order I use a conventional telephone. The probability that I receive all pills as ordered in the correct quantities and from the correct producer is virtually zero and belongs into the realms of fantasy.

You can’t seriously expect that in a subsequent delivery with 3 boxes on the delivery slip also 3 boxes are included. With 2 boxes still 66% are correct, grade D, passing, okay…

The quantity of pills was correct this time, for a change the delivery slip wasn’t.

Now the delivery guy has put a box of pills in my mailbox which I will return personally today, whereupon I am convinced that I will hold exactly this box in my hands in 3 months time, this is not Aspirin.

Why is it not working, it can only be up to me…

It is not better with my adjuvants.

Due to the so-called direct shipments I receive my materials from 4 different deliverers, who honour me with their visit between 10 and 19 h.

The guys always want to put the cartons on my knees and get off, I don’t like this at all. In the evening my corridor wall with all its boxes reminds a bit of the Berlin Wall.

In one of the warehouses they seem to have too much cardboard boxes and filling material. For 4 boxes of compresses and 1 liter skin cleaner they use a box of 60cm x 60 cm. As my friend usually says: Logistics doesn’t have anything to do with logic.

This time it was even the wrong type of compresses, they can pick up their box again, in the meantime it will stand in my way again. Maybe in an act of revenge I will put some old files from my apprenticeship into the box.

I don’t want to get upset anymore and I keep it with Douglas Adams:

I am probably a

God of Wrong Deliveries.

If everything would work out well at once I could certainly take some pills less.

Translator BL

Find of the Week

April 8th, 2012

Frontpage

Advert

Original and unopened item!

A cup of probably still delicious

MAMA noodles

in “Palo-Duck” flavour, still from my pedestrian times, for sale.

I am parting with a heavy heart from this emergency ration!

Because there is no “best before” date on it, the content should still be in an acceptable condition. A must for each gourmet…

The visual deformations of the cup are caused by the momentum.

Product will go for the best offer. In the comment please!!!

Funny which stuff one can find in the store-room ;-)

Translator BL

Happy Easter!

April 7th, 2012

Frontpage

Have fun with your easter-egg hunt…!!!

New translations: All around my broken leg!

April 6th, 2012

Click on the picture

to read the complete story around my

broken leg!

Now all related blogposts available in English!

Don’t let them get you down

April 5th, 2012

Frontpage

Who believes that a wheelchair driver would be too small to achieve and change anything should try to spend the night with only one mosquito in the bedroom!

Who will call for the couch in the living room first? ;-)

Assertiveness has nothing to do with size or number of fellow fighters, even if this seems to be the general opinion in some places…!!!

You can assert yourself against anybody and anything, something is always possible as long as you don’t put up with everything.

Hobbits of all nations unite!!!…ok, now the pills are coming through again.

Among us frequent travellers the secret

day-and housefly method

is for centuries a well-tried means to assert our interests against the “sleepers”.

Should the repeatedly applied day- and housefly method according to the principle “bugging, bugging, bugging” not lead to the desired success, it should now be switched to the quite ruthless

mosquito swarm variant

With it the facts of the case will be spread to the various positions. First to the boss of the “sleeper”, then to the boss of the boss, who certainly has a boss as well. The information of the conspirative press swarm might be helpful as well.

In case of the attempt to “sit“ a problem out the sleeper doesn’t have a chance against the wheelchair driver if the latter doesn’t raise the white flag immediately.

To endure something is not acceptable for us “travellers“ and insults our class.

Nobody will get me down any more with my 138 cm total height sitting in the wheelchair. I don’t give one centimeter more, unless I have a flat tyre. ;-)

Translator BL

Shinbone fracture possibly last part

April 2nd, 2012

Frontpage

After another X-ray of my leg it was medically confirmed that from a pure orthopedic point of view nothing stands in the way of walking, jogging and running in homeopathic dosage.

X-rays from 06.09.2011 / 29.09.2011 / 08.11.2011 / 15.12.2011 / 28.03.2012

More fractures are currently not planned.

The only positive aspect from the permanent X-rays since September is that I meanwhile have an inner glow and can use my right knee as reading lamp and headlight for night-time trips.

Translator BL

April 1st, 2012

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