remote-controlled electrical sockets

as useful technical aid. I am using these things for years to switch my

Christmas Tree lighting

on and off. Since a couple of weeks my living room lamp gets switched on by a ghostly hand. I think it’s quite funny, a neighbour is probably using the same frequency!

Translator BL

Wheelchair Ramp Occupier

I have currently started to write a few new blogposts.

But these have to wait to be published, because what happened yesterday has to be told…

When I bought a flat back in 2005 still as pedestrian together with my wife and a friendly bank, a parking place directly opposite the entrance was included for a little surcharge as well.

Awesome… Our own parking place in Frankfurt!!!

Unfortunately the parking place is too narrow for me to transfer from the wheelchair into the car, so that I have applied for and got a disabled parking place in the street (see older blogposts).

I have a lot of visitors like physiotherapists, friends and other people who are helping me with various things.

They probably only come that often to use my parking place…

I have a good relationship with all my neighbours.

One of them owns a couple of taxis which are sometimes parked in our courtyard or street a little unconventionally during driver change, especially when he has new drivers.

Last week at least three times such a beige vehicle was standing on my labelled parking place (see lifter picture), and this even when I had a visitor on Sunday morning, when you don’t know anyway where to park your car!!!

When I met my neighbour on the same day I told him in round terms to tell his drivers that I don’t want to see one of his taxis on my parking place any more.

Yesterday on Friday I descended with my

platform lifter

from my flat in the 1st floor and wanted to leave the house on my Flower Ramp (see older blogposts).

My low blood pressure was healed promptly.

I don’t tend to hyperventilate, but yesterday it was almost the case.

After about 2 minutes and the photo I had calmed down again a little and rang at my
Wheelchair Ramp Occupier:

REMOVE THE TAXI IMMEDIATELY!!!

I should mention as well that no car was parking on my parking place.

Translator BL

The Stumbling Rock

The reconstruction of my narrow pedestrian bathroom to a

Wheelchair Spa

in the autumn of 2008 with the moving of a wall and the installation of an on grade shower was rather nerve-wracking.

Read the older blogposts “Bath Reconstruction Part 1-4″, and decide yourself if the tears come from laughing or crying

I was already home from hospital for a couple of days when finally the washing basin was mounted.
The reconstruction was virtually finalized after a few weeks already.

There was just one little thing. The new drain of washing basin and bath tub was ailing a little. The water drained off rather reasonably, but after 25 seconds the drain started to communicate in an unknown language with me.

Just like that:
Gurgle, gurgle, rattle, rattle, bubble, bubble and once again.
Sometimes it seemed to call names.

I had a creepy feeling, everybody knows the pipe ghost, the “Moaning Myrtle” from Harry Potter.

After various unsuccessful attempts to “muzzle” the drain pipe professionally by cleaning it with a spiral I decided to visit the pipe ghost with the help of a camera.

Such a film is quite special if you climb through your own drain pipe.
During the reconstruction work a hardly worth mentionable ca. 4 cm x 4 cm small accident happened to the guys, to say a stone got stuck in the drain pipe.

When the gas-water-heating-bath construction-video expert

told me that the stone can only be removed from my neighbours underneath I was a bit more relaxed.

Then at least they don’t pry open my brand-new bathroom because of the stupid stone.

I felt so sorry for my neighbours that I didn’t arrange the removal of the stone immediately.

Now, 3,5 years later my neighbours have moved out, and the stumbling rock was finally removed.

Currently I don’t miss the “gurgle conversations” in the morning yet. Should I miss them I have filmed a video with the last words of the stone just in case.

Translator BL

My suspicion is that construction engineers compress their planning to the most confined space not because building sites are so expensive, but only for that reason because they would otherwise need to print another piece of paper!

Everybody knows it, when you are writing a letter on the PC and the text doesn’t fit onto one page, you also try with smaller line spacing and font to squeeze everything onto one page.

In a building in the neighbourhood a new emergency stair case with new entrance area was built in the record-breaking time of two years.

They have taken much effort that the residents of the neighbouring houses will still remember the reconstructions years later.

I was positively surprised that on the side of the entrance a small

Outside lift for wheelchairs

was built. Great thing because in this building there are living also many old and frail people who may need a wheelchair in a couple of years.

We generously overlook the stair on the left with which the waste disposal is made a little difficult for us “travelling people”.

I am actually not concerned any more, but how can you construct such an extremely

Steep Stairway.

The stairs are very high and consist even out of polished granite. The lady on the picture had greatest difficulties to climb the entrance with her walking stick. There would have been more than enough space to front for the stairway construction, but as mentioned probably the paper was too small. The guy who is responsible for the construction of this stairway should be accused for attempted injury.

After the next winter the fresh wheelers due to a downfall from the stairs will probably queue in front of the outside lift!!

Translator BL

Also this year, my neighbour has planted flowers at my

2 m³ concrete ramp

and turned it to a

flower ramp

Simply brilliant, thanks from this side, looks great.

The floridity meanwhile turns into a jungle-like status.
It‘s growing and growing!

Another two weeks, and I need a machete when I want to leave the house.

I was training this situation already in the botanical garden in Frankfurt.

Click on tags “Ramp”.

Translator BL

Lautes Schreien und das Werfen von Gegenständen!
(außer Wattebällchen)

in unseren Wohnungen zu unterdrücken.
Dies hat den Hintergrund, dass kein Nachbar jemals mehr zu Hilfe käme, wenn man wirklich ernsthafte Schwierigkeiten hätte,
wie zum Beispiel nach einem ungewollten

Rolli- Bodentransfer.

In den Praxen der Psychologen, wird man angehalten, ruhig zu bleiben und

In sich zu gehen!

Das soll mir mal jemand erklären, wie ich das als Rollifahrer bewerkstelligen kann.

Es ist zum:

Aus der Haut Fahren!!!

Zurück zum Kernpunkt:

Um die aufgestauten Emotionen kontrolliert abzubauen, gibt es zwei Möglichkeiten:

Eine/en Freund/in fragen, ob er/sie einen in den Wald fährt (da dort nicht so viel Polizei unterwegs ist), um mal so richtig

Abzuschreien.

Man sollte jedoch bedenken, dass Rotwild und Bären angelockt werden könnten.

Die zweite und erheblich ungefährliche Methode besteht mit dem Besuch einer der häufig stattfindenden Sportveranstaltungen.
Prädestiniert hierfür ist der Besuch von

Fußballspielen

Es ist völlig unerheblich, was der Patient schreit, es interessiert im Stadion sowieso niemanden. Hauptsache laut und kein gegnerischer Fangesang.
Privatpatienten* erhalten angeblich den Besuch von

1. Bundesliga Spiele

schon seit Jahren auf Rezept.

Diese Alternativtherapie sollte generell im Hilfsmittelkatalog der Krankenkassen aufgenommen werden. Sie ist erheblich kostengünstiger, als der Verbrauch von 50 kg Wattebällchen im Monat.

*Die Privaten Krankenkassen bezahlt fast alles:
Z.B. eine „Rollihängebahn“ für das Treppenhaus,
oder in absurden Sonderfällen angeblich auch mal einen
„Senftenrolli“
mit zwei Edelstahlrohren auf den Kotflügeln,
um durch diese, die Bambusstöcke durchschieben zu können.
(Ich nehme einfach zu viele Tabletten!)

Meine Haustürblumenrampe wurde aus 2 Kubikmeter Beton mit reichlich Eisen aus einem Stück gegossen!
Böse Zungen behaupten, die Rampe sichert das Haus gegen Diebstahl ab.

Lasst Blumen blühen!!!

Die Blumen hat meine Nachbarin gepflanzt.

Schick oder?