Leider war ich schon länger etwas schreibfaul. Mittlerweile werde ich schon als Profi-Patient bezeichnet.

Neben zahlreichen Besuchen bei meinem Hausarzt und diversen Spezialisten wie HNO, Lungenfacharzt, Phoniator, Urologe und diversen Krankenhausbesuchen habe ich regelmäßige Physiotherapie- und Logopädie-Termine und muss mich um die Verordnungen aller Art für Medikamente,Hilfsmittel, Therapien und Rollstuhlreparaturen kümmern.

Zu allem Überfluss hatte ich mit meinem Handbike im September noch eine Kollision mit einem Linienbus (unverschuldet), bei der ich mir erstens die Hand brach und zweitens mein Rolli seitdem nicht mehr geradeaus fährt. Ich schlage mich seitdem mit Krankenkasse und Sanitätshaus wegen einer Rollstuhlreparatur herum und warte immer noch (!) auf die Lieferung und Einbau der Ersatzteile.

Und als wären meine speziellen medizinischen Belange noch nicht genug, schnitzte man mir Anfang des Jahres im Gesicht herum, und Ende des Jahres brach mir ein Stück Zahn ab.

Dieses Jahr waren es immer nur ein paar stationäre Tage im Krankenhaus.

Man muss nicht zwingend Fußballer sein um in dem Kaisersaal vom Römer in Frankfurt eingeladen zu werden.

Es wurde erst nach zwei Wochen festgestellt, dass die Hand zweimal gebrochen war.

Dennoch gibt es tatsächlich noch ein Leben außerhalb der Medizin! Und ich lasse mich durch nichts davon abbringen, daran teilzunehmen.

Ich war dieses Jahr wieder bei zahlreichen Konzerten, im Stadion bei „meiner“ Eintracht (Pokalsieger), beim Essen & Trinken, bei mehreren Comedy-Veranstaltungen, ich war im Theater, Kino und im Museum, außerdem war ich im Urlaub, und Zumba-Tanzen habe ich auch gelernt.
Vom Zumba-Tanzen habe ich ja bereits berichtet, der Rest folgt noch…

This is by far the hardest blog I’ve ever written in 8 years. Words cannot express my gratitude!
One year ago today on July 12th, 2015 I barely escaped from the jaws of death.

When I add up everything, that my body came up with (see older blog), it comes to 44 weeks in 4 different hospitals in the Rhine/Main area since July last year.
Although I’m now starting almost where I was eight years ago when I became paralyzed in an accident I won’t complain too much, because I am glad that I am still here at all. (5 % probability of survival is not very much.)
You really don’t want to know everything. There are so many diseases and I am not keen on learning the Latin language this way. From now on, my hand stays down, even if I have to attach a stone to it.

At this point I’d like to express my sincerest gratitude especially to my wife, my parents, my brother, my mother-in-law, the rest of my entire family, the nurses and caretakers, doctors, therapists of the BGU hospital unit K3/K8 and the intensive care unit of the North-West Hospital also in Frankfurt am Main and to all other friends and acquaintances who thought of me, took care of me and still do helped me to get back to life.
At night I had a lot of time to think, and I don’t know how I would have managed without you. One night can be quite long.
I have not enough words to express my gratitude. There is still a long way to go, but keeping my positive attitude and training zeal I will not disappoint you. That I can promise!
Since Friday, July 1st 2016 I am now permanently at home again.
Hopefully, this was my last blog about diseases for the next seven years, when my medi pump has to be replaced again. This topic will be banned from the blog as far as possible.
Even though I’m repeating myself:

Thank you, thank you, thank you…

that you were there for me throughout the past year and still are now.

Translator BW

Already home for four weeks …!!!

As already reported, after taking a shower in March at home the titanium body of my implanted drug pump suddenly peeped out of my belly. It broke through the abdominal wall and I had to sign myself into the hospital again – after only three weeks of “Home” – Holiday (see older blog).

This time I was in the room next door at the same station as three weeks earlier; they still knew me there.

One could have the impression that I like this hospital food. I do not know what you eat for dinner, but this chef salad that is served every evening as an alternative selection is delicious. We can therefore say that the food there is quite good.

After several days of unsuccessful attempt to change back to oral drugs to eventually get rid of the pump completely, the old and no longer sterile pump including lines was taken out. For two weeks an external pump supplied the meds until in a second surgery a new pump including lines between the vertebrae into the spinal canal was implanted – again at the left side.

(Not bad, that dope!)

Nevertheless, the visits from the hospital pastor, various anesthesiologists and several nurses in the intensive care station, who still knew me from eight years ago, got me thinking.

This pump change or better yet new installation required another five weeks of bed rest, but they went without major complications.

Now I am back home for four weeks and I am already looking forward to the empty batteries in 7 years. That is when I will receive a new pump and new scars. I hope that the location of the pump does not need to be changed. Otherwise, above and below the navel there is still some space left.

When I look at the numerous scars on my neck, belly and back, I should probably reconsider my desired profession as a top model.

Translator BW

Unbelievable – or Tough Stuff

A few months ago I was scheduled to be transferred out of the rehab facility in the Taunus (behind the seven hills where the seven dwarfs lived) back to the hospital in Frankfurt from which I came 6 weeks ago. I was to undergo a special examination named Angiography, a procedure during which one can actually watch his or her own brain function live at work. The transfer service was ordered a few days before with the request “sitting in own wheelchair”. I had already had my bags packed the day before (you wouldn’t believe what all accumulates in 6 weeks!) I cleared my small single room for dismissal at 8:00 AM because it would be reassigned right away.

The next morning at 7:20 two nurses stormed into my room and told me slightly stressed that the shuttle would take off half an hour earlier, which was in 10 minutes! Of course, I couldn’t insist on the 2 drivers delaying their contractually assured breakfast break. After a short handling, also called basic care (I felt like at the Pitstop at a Formula 1 race) the transfer service showed up – but of course, with a stretcher. There was not enough room in the vehicle for me sitting in my wheelchair. Oh well, I had “only” told them about five times! Well…uh… bad. After a successful arrival in Frankfurt I was seated back in my wheelchair and the drivers checked me in at the emergency room of the hospital. I waited patiently while the drivers cleared the field. After approximately 10 minutes a staff member approached and mentioned that I was quite early.

My comment: not that bad, 8:45.

She: ONE WEEK!!!

Those “luminaries” from the rehab clinic, whose priority apparently is not the well fare of the patient, kicked me out an entire week early! Fortunately, the hospital had a bed available and granted me asylum for the time being.

Translator BW

You may well believe that I currently have become lazy about writing, or suffer from writer’s block. This is not the case, I have enough material, but I also have a relatively good excuse.

When I finally came home mid February after seven months of hospital-hopping, my implanted drug pump (see older posts) decided without asking me to escape from my body through the abdominal wall. And that after only three weeks of “homeland” holiday!

Over the years the skin around the scar got so thin that on March 5th after a shower at home the titanium body of the pump suddenly became visible from the outside. Boy, would I have liked to see my facial expression at that moment! The silver lining doesn’t always have to be at the horizon and a silver wire is not likely to grow out of the belly!

There I was with my non-sterile implant.

I immediately decided at the cost of my health insurance company to rent a hospital bed again. Maybe they haven’t changed the linens from my old bed?

I have always wanted to dial “112″.

It’s silly, but ultimately it’s just a laceration. Now I’m in the room next door.

It took two surgeries to replace the pump and the attached line that goes to the spinal canal and move it to the other side. After nearly five weeks in the hospital bed I’m finally back in my wheelchair.

What an uplifting feeling to finally have WiFi again in the sitting room and not bother the other fellows with my voice control. Although I’m back with my training where I left three months ago but I’d say:

“It could have been worse”

Translator BW

Zur Startseite

2 months have passed…

Nobody ever doubted that there’s something going on with my head (literally However, with the news that hit me out of nowhere in the middle of July about my brain situation – I certainly could have done without.

Meanwhile, I returned all of the newly acquired spare parts (gastric probe, tracheal needle, permanent catheter) and slowly begin to see the light again at the end of the tunnel – into the light I did not yet want to ride…

After intensive hospital hopping I have one piece of advice for all Paraplegics: no matter what illness or disease needs to be treated – your paraplegia must first be addressed; it has absolute priority! Instead of selecting an alleged special rehabilitation clinic, rather chose a hospital that you trust and make it your preference. Those specialty places might not be familiar with paraplegia and are easily overwhelmed. If you can’t make it out of bed on your own, maybe due to a decline of your overall condition, you have lost.

Fortunately, for one month now I’m back in the hospital of my trust, where even the guards know me by name. They will put me back on my wheels!

Here are a few impressions from my current “training camp”… physio-, ergo-, speech therapy, driving training, mud baths, etc. …

Translator BW

Voodoo Magic … Aliens … help, my belly beeps … ???

Since yesterday my belly tries to communicate with me.

About every two hours I’m getting dubious messages from him that sound like a “Ping, … ahh … beep … !!!”.

For proof, I have turned on the dictation app on my smartphone and placed it on my belly, hear for yourself the 9 seconds MP3 …

What does he want? Cookies, beer, … or is it perhaps my drug pump screaming …

In 2008 a half year after my accident a drug pump was implanted in my abdominal cavity, that delivers the dope via a tube and a needle directly between the vertebra into the cerebrospinal fluid (see older blog).

Without this pump I wouldn’t be able to enjoy life anymore, but it also bears a certain risk.

There are medi pumps with battery or gas pressured. The gas pressured ones have a usability of allegedly 25 years.

Mine is a “built-in” battery-operated pump, the Medtronic Synchromed II type with a drug reservoir of 40 ml, small it is not …

It is implanted under the skin; similar to a breast enlargement I have a very visible belly enlargement.

The pump is programmable from the outside and needs to be completely replaced after 6-7 years, because by then the batteries are empty.

This is inconvenient, but new hardware every few years can’t hurt.

The alarm of the pump can be turned off with a programming device. Unfortunately, I don’t happen to have one sitting on my shelf.

Translator BW

Voodoo Magic … Aliens … help, my belly beeps … ???

Since yesterday my belly tries to communicate with me.

About every two hours I’m getting dubious messages from him that sound like a “Ping, … ahh … beep … !!!”.

For proof, I have turned on the dictation app on my smartphone and placed it on my belly, hear for yourself the 9 seconds MP3 …

What does he want? Cookies, beer, … or is it perhaps my drug pump screaming …

In 2008 a half year after my accident a drug pump was implanted in my abdominal cavity, that delivers the dope via a tube and a needle directly between the vertebra into the cerebrospinal fluid (see older blog).

Without this pump I wouldn’t be able to enjoy life anymore, but it also bears a certain risk.

There are medi pumps with battery or gas pressured. The gas pressured ones have a usability of allegedly 25 years.

Mine is a “built-in” battery-operated pump, the Medtronic Synchromed II type with a drug reservoir of 40 ml, small it is not …

It is implanted under the skin; similar to a breast enlargement I have a very visible belly enlargement.

The pump is programmable from the outside and needs to be completely replaced after 6-7 years, because by then the batteries are empty.

This is inconvenient, but new hardware every few years can’t hurt.

The alarm of the pump can be turned off with a programming device. Unfortunately, I don’t happen to have one sitting on my shelf.

Translator BW

It doesn’t always have to be the large items such as a wheelchair, wheeled walker, or a leg trainer that should be told about.

Often it’s the simple things that take care of business!

Like when your roommate or you yourself snores, that can quickly lead to disputes.

Apparently I have a nighttime job as a lumberjack, so I even went to sleep laboratory, where they prescribed me a CPAP-device + nasal pillow.

With that mask, I don’t mean the standard sleeping mask type : “I AM YOUR FATHER “, (see older blogpost).

Now my roommates are happy campers, as long as I behave and wear my mask.

During impatient care in more-people bedrooms I’ve heard of piss-bottles flying through the room if the noise-level was elevated after 10 P.M.

Past spring I had an almost 94-year old :Geriatrix (the real old guy from the Asterix comics) laying next to me. His breathing activities sounded like an engine start of a a Ju 52/3*.

Someone gave me a hint about some

earplugs by the brand named Alpine, called ” SleepSoft”

http://www.alpinehearingprotection.com/

So far I have only heard of Alpine as a high quality brand of car stereos with lots of base. They used to be so popular under thieves, that they professionally extracted it after 6 weeks out of my VW… dammit!!!

The special thing about these earplugs is, that they have a tube in the center of them, so you don’t hear the snoring of your neighbour anymore, but you are still able to talk about quantum physics with the night nurse.

So they are eliminating the snoring frequencies, but too bad that you can still hear the alarm clock and there is no chance against the nurses wake-up call anyways.

They have several different types of earplugs, for whatever fits your needs.
For sleeping, swimming, music or hunting, all available.

I even tried them out in a suicide attempt during a concert. Pre-band:

ANTHRAX,

one of the most silent Metal bands out there…if you want to believe me…

and then…

Motörhead

These earplugs definitely passed the hardcore-metal concert test and the four week old fart snoring action with decoration.

What an awesome concert; for that I even used a GPS and drove to the Offenbach ** town hall without applying for a Visa first.

Lemmy definitely doesn’t count to the mellow music category.

* 3-engine propeller plane from 1932

** People from Frankfurt and Offenbach don’t like each other (similar to Greenbay Packers and New England Patriot fans)

Translator Chris

5 months ago, I have already posted about a “disabling”, new disabled toilet in a hospital (see older blogpost).

At that time, I criticised among other things that nobody had unwound the emergency cord.

It is rather bad when you are lying on the floor after a wheelchair-floor-transfer while trying to transfer from wheelchair to toilet and then your are not able to reach the alarm.

In case of emergency you can’t open the door from the inside either because wisely the door lock is mounted at 1,50 m. Probably designer model “Dirk Nowitzki”.

I am not so experienced about industry standards in the area of accessible building, but I would be surprised if such a high installation height of a door lock is allowed. Whereas… the thought is not so far off…!!!

Even wheelchair test person “Detective” had difficulties with the door lock!

I had pointed out the “trifle” with the emergency cord already several times, but it had not been unwound within 4 months anyway. I couldn’t reach the knot up there, otherwise I would have done it myself.

When I complained at a therapist – let’s call her “Work-out” – on 22.04.2013 again about the emergency cord with the Gordian knot she immediately took care of the problem and unknotted the cord. Thanks again from this side.

The appearance of the tetra pot belly had to be alienated out of proprietary reasons.

As you can see on the next picture, there are other disabled toilets in this hospital with door locks in Hobbit height.

Actually it’s my own fault… I am too small… If I really make an effort I might still grow a bit and can then reach the 1,50 m door lock…!!

Translator BL

Sad, sad, sad…!!!

When I saw this new disabled toilet in a hospital I started thinking a little and got my camera first of all.

This toilet is disabling!!!

I consider the equipment and construction, described in friendly words, as unfortunate solution and declare this disabled toilet to be the patient.

It all starts that hardly any wheelchair user can lock the sliding door from the inside because the lock is mounted quite high. This is also possible in a different way, see older blogpost.

The transfer from wheelchair to toilet would be quite painful if not dangerous because no second handle is mounted next to the toilet. I don’t know the official regulation, but I consider two handles in a hospital disabled toilet as a matter of course.

The toilet paper holder is currently out of work. The paper roll was probably thrown into the toilet or taken away for handicrafts by the last guest because not even a dustbin is at hand.

Considering the distance to the wall, the fishing for toilet is paper is a bit tricky anyway…!!!

Maybe with some physiotherapy the new toilet paper roll under the toilet might be reachable without involuntary floor transfer.

I don’t know if the fact of

anticipated grossly negligent non-assistance

exists, but this is the case here.

A not unwound emergency cord is not acceptable for me. I would have unwound it, but I definitely can’t do it with my motor functions…!!!

It is also possible in a different way. In the pool shower in the wheelchair hotel Mar y Sol in Tenerife (see older blogposts) several emergency buttons are ideally mounted on ground level.

My friend said, when I am not able to lock the door anyway it is not necessary either to reach the emergency cord when I am lying on the floor.

I would just need to crawl to the door and wait for the next patient.

Translator BL

After another X-ray of my leg it was medically confirmed that from a pure orthopedic point of view nothing stands in the way of walking, jogging and running in homeopathic dosage.

X-rays from 06.09.2011 / 29.09.2011 / 08.11.2011 / 15.12.2011 / 28.03.2012

More fractures are currently not planned.

The only positive aspect from the permanent X-rays since September is that I meanwhile have an inner glow and can use my right knee as reading lamp and headlight for night-time trips.

Translator BL