Archive for February, 2010

Petitionsaufruf II

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

Ich hatte am 07.02. einen Petitionsaufruf gestartet, dass mir mit meinem 1,38 m sitzend im Rolli im Prinzip wieder die Scheibe Gelbwurst an der Fleischtheke zusteht und euch auch.

Free Gelbwoscht für alle!

(siehe älteren Beitrag)

Glaubt es, oder nicht:
Am Freitag den 26.02 gab mir eine Ausgebildete Fleischfachverkäuferin in einem Hitmarkt in Frankfurt am Main, nachdem einem Kind von ca. 1,32 m Größe die Wurst quasi aufgedrängt wurde (es wollte eigentlich Corned Beef),
tatsächlich eine

Scheibe Gelbwoscht.

Ob es daran lag, ich erwähnte am Rande, dass ich mich diskriminiert fühlte, mag ich nicht beurteilen.
Zeugen können genannt werden.
Ihr seht, wehrt euch, kämpft für

Free Gelbwoscht für alle!!

Unterstützt meine Petition.

Quadriplegic Tips XV

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

After the usual administrative chaos caused by all those who can cut a piece of paper gets currently out of hand, I feel a bit like the “Hauptmann von Köpenick” (synonym from German literature for a catch-22; without residence no work, without work no residence), and I have decided to take 3-4 valium more and turn again towards my

passion,

the technical aids for quadriplegics. What a sentence, the blue things are helping already, I am suddenly missing the fullstopslll

Knife, fork, scissors, flames, have no place in quadriplegic’s gamesl
That’s about true :-)

To cut paper with a scissor is not funny,
especially when you like me can’t even press a clothespin.
If

scissor-type silhouettes

aren’t going to be the new hobby I can highly recommend a

Paper Guillotine,

one-arm-usage guaranteed “fullstop”.

The blue pills are ttzzzzzzzzz

Translator BL

Introducing the Mouse

Sunday, February 21st, 2010

When you have motor functions in hands and fingers like the Berlin wall you automatically keep everything tidy, otherwise you will drown into chaos.

My wheelchair rucksack contains more or less everything what you need to survive in the wild.

For me it takes some effort to take down the rucksack from the back of my wheelchair and rummage around into it to search for something which somebody has stuffed in there.

Probably scientists never have thought about:

Where on a rucksack is front and back?

This question should be clarified once and for all.

I have learnt once that on a car the front is always in driving direction when you are sitting inside.
Driving backwards doesn’t count.

Can I apply this to my wheelchair rucksack as well?

The wheelchair transport drivers always have asked me in which pocket of my rucksack was the card to debit the transport charges?

I would have liked to know it myself… Each time in a different place.

Is the small pocket on the front or the back of the rucksack?

This depends probably from the viewer’s perspective.
For me sitting in the wheelchair it is on the back, for some of the drivers it is on the front, or not???

A solution had to be found. At a visit of the regional broadcasting station I had bought

The “Maus”

(translator’s note: the mouse, popular German children TV character) and fixed it on one pocket of my rucksack.
From this day it only went:

With the mouse!

In the mouse pocket!

In the mouse trap!

Basically the result was quite good.
But now more or less everything is stuffed into the mouse pocket, so that there is a big mess now inside.

Will I have to switch to Walt Disney now and fix a whole toy armada to my rucksack to find the remote control for my stairlift?!

Donations of small accessories with key ring to mark the other pockets will be gladly accepted.

Wheelchair rucksack cuddly toys donation account

Some time I will confuse the drivers totally and fix the “Blue Elephant” (companion of the “Maus”) on my rucksack ;-)

Translator BL

 

Bremskeil III

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

 Ich hab aan

 Runnergesetzte Firmewaache

 

den da wo ich mit de Händ faahn kann,

von nem Audoumbauer gekaaft.

Die hawwe dann des mit dem

 

TÜV-Krembel

 

, weche dene Zettel für die Umbaude

und der Ummeldung von da obbe in Hesse,

ins scheene Frankfort noch erledischt.

Ich hab des zumindestens geglaabt.

Ich fahr die Scherbel mit dene ihre Nummernschilder seit 8 Woche.

Wir waarn uns desteweche einisch.

Heut am

 

Fastnachtsdienstdaach

 

bin ich uff die Zulassung hier in Frankfort gefaahn,

damit die Kist endlich eh paar gescheide

 

F-Nummernschilder

 

 

kried.

Ach währ ich Dollbohrer doch anstatt da hii, nach

 

Klaa Paris* zum Fastnachtsumzuch

 

 

gegange/gefaahn.

Die hawwe mir erzählt,

das weche de Europa und so,

mer seit dem April 09,

aufgrund dem §21 EG-FGV

die gegehmischte TÜV-Umbautezettel,

nochema genemische muss.

Ich hab da ja nix degesche,

aber das weil die Annern des da vergesse ham,

ich jetzt mein Karren nemmer faahn derf,

find ich garnet witzisch.

Besonnerst die Herrn Umbauer hätte des wisse müsse,

was se net getaan hawwe.

Des is dene ihr Arbeit!.

Moie am Aschermittwoch sei ja alles vorbei…

 

Frankfort Helau!

 

*Spitzname eines Stadtteils von Frankfurt am Main

Wie geht’s!

Monday, February 15th, 2010

对不起,此内容只适用于Deutsch

(Deutsch) Beipackzettel ???

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

对不起,此内容只适用于Deutsch

Quadriplegic Tips XIV

Friday, February 12th, 2010

Due to my spinal cord injury my blood pressure hardly rises above 100.

My mate always says:
Don’t get upset, otherwise you will get a blood pressure of 120.

To increase my blood pressure there is apart from pills a much faster method,

zip fastener

Just try to cook a 4-course-menu with winter mittens, then you know what I mean.

The ultimate discipline are ski jackets with double zipper.

Commitment to a psychiatric institution guaranteed.

Each quadriplegic has a key ring on the zipper.

With a

clip for braces + key ring or tie wrap

I now have 2 rings at the zipper start.

You “go“ with two fingers in the ring.

Now you have to practice, practice, practice,…

Then the zipper can be closed quite well…

If the zipper is not gliding well, there is the old skiing trick with a little spray of

silicon oil

and then it slides considerably easier.

See what is written on the can:
“Everything“ will glide faster, easier, and more quietly!!!

Listen, you don’t hear anything ;-)

Translator BL

 

Quadriplegic Tips XIII

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

Here comes a for insiders quite well-known technical aid!!!

I will call it

Angle knife.

It’s a mystery to me how you can cut something with this knife without hurting yourself.

A first aid plaster dispenser on the handle would probably make some sense.

I would have to try to grip this sharp construct with two hands, and before the sausage should be nailed down to the table.

OK, enough nagging.

Look at it, maybe it can help some of you!

One might possibly change tyres with it.

I better shouldn’t have mixed Novalgin with Vodka.

Addendum:

Read the blogpost
Link:

Technical Aids Tips and Tricks XLVIII

about a really good quadriplegic special knife

from the company www.mehal.de.

Translator BL

Quadriplegic Workshop III

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

You have probably noticed already that I am a self-confessed pedant in the technical area.

I am very lucky that my family and friends again and again take their time to realize my sometimes a bit weird ideas in the area of technical aids.
It is hardly possible to do this myself with my handicap.

At this stage many, many thanks.

If I wouldn’t have this kind of help my technical aids would be a lot more basic.

Here is a great idea how you can help yourself as quadriplegic with the most simple means.
The tie wrap on the phone has amongst others the reason to hang the phone over the brake of the wheelchair.

Thank you for the tip, I need more of these!!!

Even I can write serious blogposts.
Where have my pills gone?

Translator BL

 

Quadriplegic Tips XII

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

The personal enemy of the quadri-(aka tetra-)plegic is, hardly to believe, the:

Tetra Pak beverage carton

These things are so smooth that it is hardly possible to decently pour something into a glass.

I was owning this

metal holder for Tetra Paks

already a couple of years before my accident.

It was revitalised from my

kitchenware graveyard

and does a good job for me now.

If somebody knows the source of supply of this extremely useful equipment, please send a short e-mail to me.
Have a look on to your kitchenware graveyard, maybe 10-15 pieces are lying around there which you have in excess?

rollinator@eigude.de

Translator BL

Quadriplegic Tips XI

Monday, February 8th, 2010

I have decided to occupy myself with

shoes

now.

Basically I don’t have anything against shoes, but I have entered the fray against the fastening laces.

Shoelaces

are getting me to the edge of reason, or it is already getting dark when I start tying them after breakfast.

I admire each quadriplegic who manages this in spite of a limited hand function.
It would be an option to switch to shoes with velcro tape.
But there is insufficient choice with my

flat splay drop feet.

An excellent option are special shoelaces which are nothing different than a

spiral round elastic band,

which is holding the shoe together.
I call them

idler shoelaces.

They are available in white, black, blue and brown, but also as shoelaces fake with even a bow on it.

Source of supply Link: Reha Handel

Now it is about time to consult my psychologist!
I am showing off my feet/shoes to the world.
Let’s see when it’s the turn of the next extremities.

Translator BL

Petitionsaufruf

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

Es ist ja durchaus nachvollziehbar, dass man sitzend im Rolli nicht mehr zu den größten Mitbürgern gehört.
Mit meinem 1,38m bin ich noch einer der etwas größeren Vielfahrer.
Der Staat und die freie Wirtschaft sind durchaus bemüht, sich um unsere Belange wie abgesenkte Bordsteine, Aufzüge… zu kümmern.

Es wird versucht das Gleichstellungsgesetz zwischen behinderten und nicht behinderten Personen durchzusetzen.
Aber eine Sache geht/fährt mir nicht mehr aus dem Kopf.

Ich fühle mich diskriminiert.

Folgende Situation :

Man sitzt am Freitagabend im Supermarkt um der Ecke an der Fleischtheke und holt sich seine 500 Gramm Wochenenddosis tierisches Eiweiß.

Und dann passiert es schon wieder!!!

Da bekommt doch so ein Kind, das auch noch größer ist als ich, doch schon wieder eine

Scheibe Gelbwurst

von der dienst habenden Fleischfachverkäuferin gereicht.

Das Kind stand in der Schlange auch noch hinter mir, und ich wurde wie immer bewusst übergangen.

Das muss ein Ende haben!!!

Ich esse ja schon seit Wochen nur noch Gemüse, um der Sache aus dem Weg zu gehen/fahren.

Ich suche Mitstreiter die meiner Meinung sind, dass diese Situation untragbar ist und geändert werden muss.

Ich beabsichtige eine Petition beim Deutschen Bundestag einzureichen.

Free Gelbwoscht für Alle !!!

Wer unterstützt mich bei meinem Vorhaben???

Kommentare erbeten.

Habe ich meine Tabletten schon genommen?

Technical Aids Tips and Tricks IV

Friday, February 5th, 2010

At the moment everybody is only talking about snow, snow, snow.

Therefore now:

Summer, sun, holiday, heat, heat, heat…

Whenever somebody is lamenting how much too much he is sweating (I knew that well enough), I am introducing my ultimate remedy:

Such a spinal cord injury can work miracles!
(OK that was too hard).

Well, not to be able to sweat any more sounds rather helpful initially, but there is a severe hitch.
E.g. if I am standing in the sun in the summer my body temperature is rising constantly and rising and rising…
So far I could avoid something worse happening.

Water, water, water …

Such a water sprayer for flowers is tailor-made as medical device, but quite bulky and falls constantly off one’s knees.
After longer research, a battery-operated

“hand fan with integrated water sprayer”

has flown to me.

Typically one should apply for a medial device number for this thing.
Then the fan would probably cost 265,23 €.

To prevent price rigging I reveal the source of supply only personally under:

rollinator@eigude.de

Translator BL

 

(Deutsch) Indernett funtstüg där wochä IV

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

对不起,此内容只适用于Deutsch

Handicap Parking Part I

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

After I had proven my ability to drive with hand throttle in front of the technical control association and my hand throttle customized car had been delivered mid December I applied for a

personalised disabled parking place.

This worked out extremely fast.
At this point thanks to the staff of the road traffic department of the city of Frankfurt. Within a few days the corresponding sign was placed and the parking place roughly labelled, because at that time another car was parking there.

I was assured that the

Handicap label

on the street would be fixed later on.

At this time constantly other cars were parking on my parking place. I was appreciative because the sign is only visible well from one side, and these morons were parking against the driving direction. Well…

In the year 2009 I stood one single time on my disabled parking place.

On December 28th the road traffic department put two signs up

Absolute stopping restriction due to labelling work

to keep the place free so that the missing street labelling could be accomplished.

This meant for me to keep my parking place free.

On New Year’s Eve 2009/10 I unapologetically stood boozed without displayed parking permit in the

absolute stopping restriction zone.

This was the first and so far only time that I was standing on my parking place in 2010.
And even without a car, therefore under survey of an employee of the German disaster relief organisation (THW).

Then the snow arrived…

It is clear that the guys are busy with other things than my labelling.

From the deep of my heart I would like to thank the traffic participants who ignored the signs from the beginning out of altruism only.
The asphalt of my parking place is continuously kept dry for weeks by parking their cars above so that the labelling can be completed as soon as possible.

Which other reason should they have???

This might get funny.

Do I need a permanent line to the police?

Tell me your experiences…

If the current signs are not interesting anybody I should look for a small armoured tank with hand throttle.
With this I could then stand on the cars.
Drive defensively, drive a tank.

Translator BL