Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category

Chock Part XV

Monday, October 31st, 2016

对不起,此内容只适用于Deutsch

Chock Part XV

Friday, February 19th, 2016

对不起,此内容只适用于EnglishDeutsch

Armbath???

Sunday, January 17th, 2016

对不起,此内容只适用于EnglishDeutsch

New savetysystem detected in Sri Lanka

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015

The traffic in Sri Lanka for us Europeans takes some time to get used to. As a training camp I recommend Frankfurt “Platz der Republic” during rush hour and a fair; driving through junctions, honking horns and squeezing through anything… and somewhere in between still fits a tuk-tuk or a moped.

This is called efficient road use – keeping a safety distance is wasted asphalt ;-) During the past 15 years a lot has happened with the infrastructure, but somehow pedestrian crosswalks are still perceived as decoration, and cows and elephants always have the right of way anyway … aahh … or so.

Using the horn is prohibited in front of temples, and this is really the ONLY traffic rule obeyed!!!

This moped rider shows some astounding creativity in developing a new innovative safety concept for two-wheelers, at the same time bio-airbag, side impact protection and spacer. For this purpose he uses renewable raw materials in form of jackfruits.

Other than the cushioning effect in accidents ripe jackfruits spread such a stench that no other vehicle dares to get closer than a few feet. However, the improvement of the aerodynamics is negatively offset by the increase of the total weight of 150 kg – from zero to 50 in 2 minutes. To read the complede “Sri Lanka- serial” ,

click here.

Translator BW

 

Helicopter flight above Sri Lanka

Sunday, May 31st, 2015

Sri Lanka, all that green and no apple trees

We were suitably picked up by a driver named “Amigo”, sporting aviator mirror sunglasses, in a silver-colored Hummer (as labeled on the hood, yet with a Honda logo at the steering wheel) and brought to the military airport in Colombo.

We were greeted by a welcome committee ready with a wheelchair, in which Lieutenant Dan probably sat already. Fortunately, they let me use my own.

We were the only tourists at the entire airport. The security chief himself took care of us right away. Our tour guide did honor to his name when he was suddenly back in the security area before us, because the security chief happened to be an old classmate of his.

Meanwhile the four bored immigration attendants were waiting in their turquoise blue saris for the end of their work day.

A golf cart pulled up equipped with mountings for flags, so strictly speaking a diplomat’s car. I started to feel like celebrity ;-) After some negotiation I was allowed to make the 100 meters to the launch site in my chair. For that I was accompanied by one of the turquoise wrapped ladies as a personal umbrella holder and also by two of my very own security guards. In my entourage puttered the golf cart with the three other passengers, one more sari-lady and even more security. Did I have a sign “Follow Me” on my vest?!

Arriving at the helicopter we were greeted by the pilot while another three men came from the hangar. I guess, I was the highlight of the day, perhaps even month, and everybody wanted to be there when the crazy white wheelchair man boarded the helicopter.

Approx. twelve men stood around me and waited for a command, how to best get me up and in there (seat height was about 1.40 m). The well proven safety grip did not work in this case.

As a result my old dream of a palanquin wheelchair was almost met, when four men lifted my wheelchair up to entrance height, from where I could with the help of my slide board comfortably slide on to the seat. This way my slide board literally turned in to a flight board ;-) The ground troops were thrilled! For a short while I felt like sitting on a throne, since everybody else was still down on the ground. I was tempted to wave to my people like the Queen, but then rather decided on a shy thumbs-up. What an uplifting feeling! It is indeed very special for someone who sits in a wheelchair, to suddenly be the tallest person around ;-)

We were flying towards the middle of the island to Kandy, and the pilot managed nicely to stay ahead of the looming monsoon rains.

The view of the island was, particularly of the highlands, comparable with the landscapes that one knows from films like Platoon and Forrest Gump. Everything is green, tea plantations and more palm trees than I have ever seen in 1 1/2 hours (and no apple trees – no apple trees, just pineapples!)

Shortly before landing, the pilot radioed that he needed more time to get ground clearance, since he had a wheelchair on board. To us this seemed a little exaggerated, because there was certainly not any more traffic than at the airport Kassel-Calden at rush-hour, (one plane the day). But everything must have its order ;-)

Back on the ground we already saw two men, who pushed my wheelchair from the hangar. One of them examined my sliding board from all sides in sheer fascination. I suspect he started that evening to work the jigsaw ; -) He must have been quite disappointed when it wasn’t used again for the transfer back from the helicopter…

Instead, the classical safety grip/throwing technique came to use, so that after the roundtrip the departure happened by a wheelchair spot landing. The Pilot was obviously impressed, because he said: “I know my game”.

On the way back the same welcome committee was awaiting us including umbrella holder, security guards and golf cart. The weather god was also gracious and only changed his mind after I was safe in my wheelchair again. Then the sky opened and the monsoon season greeted us. My personal umbrella holder kept walking next to me, unmoved by the fact that she got drenched, but she probably was used to this kind of downpour – her only comment was “It’s just rain”.

I would have liked to show you more evidence, but since we are talking about a military airport and members of the military, we held back a little on the photo shooting. A checkup of the accessibility of the local military jail was not part of the itinerary…

To read the complede “Sri Lanka- serial” , click here.

Translator BW

Addendum Technical Aids Tips and Tricks XXXIII

Friday, February 27th, 2015

对不起,此内容只适用于EnglishDeutsch

Crazy Flash XVIII

Monday, December 15th, 2014

对不起,此内容只适用于Deutsch

Crazy Flash XXVI

Monday, December 8th, 2014

对不起,此内容只适用于Deutsch

Find of the Week

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2014

对不起,此内容只适用于Deutsch

Ghost Bathroom

Friday, October 31st, 2014

In a designated wheelchair hotel it goes without saying that the bathrooms are accessible and have an accessible shower.

Bathtubs are only used rarely by us wheelers.
Here some Spanish mechanics really have bricked up the former bath tub and made a storage rack out of it. I like!

My wife as a pedestrian felt discriminated.

Taking a closer examination, it could also be a

Sacrophagus of a tomb

You better don’t ask the question if there is still anybody lying in it.

Translator BL

 

Crazy Flash XXV

Tuesday, August 5th, 2014

对不起,此内容只适用于Deutsch

Safety Warning!

Friday, June 13th, 2014

对不起,此内容只适用于Deutsch

Crazy Flash XXIV

Wednesday, May 28th, 2014

Oh je,… noch 1 Punkt und ich muss zu Fuß gehen…!!!

FIFA- World Cup 2014 Part I

Sunday, May 11th, 2014

Ohne Frankfurter kein WM-Titel…!!!

Dem Deutschen Fußballbund ist bei dem neu nominierten Kader für die
WM 2014 in Brasilien ein kapitaler Fehler unterlaufen.

Noch nie wurde die deutsche Fußballnationalmannschaft Weltmeister, wenn kein Frankfurter Spieler dabei war.

1954 waren es die Helden von Bern, Alfred Pfaff von der Eintracht Frankfurt und Richard Herrmann vom FSV Frankfurt.

1974 überzeugte der Kopf der Mannschaft Jürgen Grabowski von der Frankfurter Eintracht im eigenen Land.

1990 schlug Uwe Bein von der SGE in Italien unvergessliche Pässe, und “Heulsuse” Andy Möller wechselte nach der WM als amtierender Weltmeister mit Recht von Dortmund zur Eintracht zurück.

Kurz nach Bekanntgabe des Kaders wurde dieser fatale Fehler festgestellt, und es musste sofort gehandelt werden.

Unbestimmten Gerüchten zufolge wurde der noch recht unbekannte waschechte Frankfurter Bub, der auf den Namen Rollinator hört nachnominiert.

In Fachkreisen werden seine Fähigkeiten, insbesonders die neben des Platzes, hoch eingeschätzt.

Den Grund für die doch etwas ungewöhnliche Spielernummer 42 wollte man nur insofern kommentieren, dass es die universelle Antwort auf das spanische Spielsystem sei.

Deutschland, Deutschland…

Klickt bei “Tags” doch mal auf Fußball um eine Menge Geschichten, rund um die schönste Nebensache der Welt zu lesen.

Crazy Flash XXIII

Wednesday, February 26th, 2014

对不起,此内容只适用于Deutsch