Frontpage
Collective suicide of the disabled parking place labels!
The silver-coloured car on the first picture has a parking permit, the driver of the black car is suffering from the widely spread chronic “Offroad Dementia”.
Translator BL
Posts Tagged ‘Crazy Flash’
Special Edition!!
Wednesday, August 17th, 2011Crazy Flash Part VIII
Monday, August 1st, 2011Frontpage
Apparently it has gotten around that I am not one of the tallest any more with my 1,38 m in the wheelchair.
This
notice on the door of my flat
of an outside company is a real hit…
So somebody actually thought ahead, or it was a hobbit 
Please note as well the perceived 12 kg
key chains
With the whole weight in my neck I am always hoping that my titanium vertebra is not breaking…
Translator BL
Technical Aids Tips und Tricks XLI
Tuesday, July 26th, 2011
Frontpage
After a few months in the hospital you get on rather friendly terms with nurses and physicians.
Of course a little piece of humour belongs to it as well.
If one as quadriplegic (spinal injury in the cervical area) like me can’t use arms and hands in an efficient way any more, spaghetti are not the favourite type of pasta.
One day the nurse came with the lunch, it was spaghetti, put it on my bedside table and was waiting for my comment if he could cut the pasta for me.
He was waiting for the comment in vain. I tried to eat these long objects by myself, have to see it sportingly, luckily I was not hungry…
It was a perfect show!!!
At some time a physician came into the room and watched this scenario with the pasta and me slightly grinning, but didn’t propose to cut the pasta neither, and I wasn’t keen on asking her.
I said to her that next time when the food is spaghetti again I would be motorised. I would only need two tie wraps to fix a fork. But had the suspicion that my milk frother would be a little bit too fast. We both had some fun. She didn’t seriously believe the thing about motorisation.
I only thought: You don’t know me!!!
Have a look yourself, one week later the
9,5 Volt Spaghetti Tetra Fork
About risks and generated injuries please contact your physician, nurse or nearest do-it-yourself-store staff.
Addendum: Construction manual for spaghetti tetra bit by popular request.
Saw a standard fork off and forge it flat. Really flat.
Saw approx. 5 cm off an M6 Allen key and weld it lengthwise to the fork stump. Not to the tine, I know it can happen!!!
Polish the welding seam with a one hand angle grinder. If possible keep a little bit of the welding.
Balance the bit at low speed on a drill press with a rubber mallet like a car tyre. Placing additional weight is not absolutely necessary.
Buy a cordless electric screwdriver with very low rotation speed, otherwise the special fork can be used to whip cream.
Boil spaghetti, and it’s done.
Safety instruction: Don’t start screwdriver with fork brought into the mouth, otherwise only the dentist will be happy.
Have fun with dotting your flat red!
Translator BL
Crazy Flash Part VII
Saturday, July 23rd, 2011Frontpage
Have a look yourself, even I don’t have words…
Unfortunately you have to endure the commercial first, and the comment is only in German!!!
Note: Next time going to the Swedes, always take a saw for viewing window.
Translator BL
(Deutsch) Rollifahrer-Seepferdchen
Wednesday, June 8th, 2011
Unbelievable…
Wednesday, May 18th, 2011
Frontpage
The most important safety equipment of a wheeler is his mobile phone.
You need it in the most paradox situations, maybe I will tell more about it later.
Yesterday I wanted to change my ancient mobile phone tariff and visited a store with the magenta coloured rectangles (translator’s note: German telecom), because online you can only upgrade and not downgrade your contracts.
A very kind competent service guy changed my tariff by means of a TAN code and a generated text message on my mobile phone immediately and without unnecessary sales talk.
Fascinating technology…
I interpreted the permanent clattering on the keyboard as work.
Then perceived 20 pages of paper with some standard templates were printed, filled, signed, and I was almost content.
Furthermore I wanted to terminate a partner SIM card, for which they already told me at the telephone hotline that this could only be done in writing, and I would best visit a shop.
I asked the service guy for the termination and he said that he would immediately set up a document.
The service counter was rather high for me so that I didn’t see exactly what he was writing.
Have a look yourself, you can close “digitally” the weirdest contracts with the company bling, bling, bling, bling.
SMS, WARP, GPS, UMTS… everything is possible, but for a simple termination letter the analogue pen has to come out!!!
Afterwards I was surprised that the service guy of this younger generation could actually handle such an ancient helping aid (pen).
Translator BL
Rollator Part I
Sunday, May 15th, 2011Frontpage
As wheelchair user I have neglected the subject of rollators or walkers a little bit until now. During my journeys through the depth of the internet I have discovered some especially beautiful types:
Parlour Trolley “Push Me!”
Golf Rollator Type “Get the Ball”
Special Edition “Father’s Day”
Skate Rollator “Schuhmacher”
Special Type “Vettel 80″
My Favourite “Sankt Pauli”
Cleany 3000
The parlour trolley is for sale under a different name.
Translator BL
Do-it-yourself Nuclear Phase-Out
Thursday, April 28th, 2011Frontpage
Breed 4,6 billion of hamsters.
So many rodents you would have to keep to replace a nuclear power plant. Each animal would have to get through a daily stint of 4 hours in the treadmill. We owe this finding to the British student Peter Ash as well as his
Hamster Elvis
It is driving with its wheel a dynamo (see movie), to recharge Peter’s mobile phone. If this is not a marketing gag Elvis has trotted at least to the output power of 1,3 watt of a recharger.
We wheelchair users can do this as well:
We are spinning the wheel the whole day long.
Should we follow the example of the hamster, mount a generator to the wheelchair and feed the generolled power into the electricity grid?
If we wheelchair users are spinning the wheel together we would be doing something good for the environment day-to-day!
How about the slogan:
Handicap Power, from guaranteed accessible cultivation!
OK, the time has come now, you can institutionalize me!
Translator BL
(Deutsch) Dieser Spruch viel mir nach 23 Jahren wieder ein!
Monday, March 28th, 2011Sorry, this entry is only available in Deutsch.
Crazy Flash VI
Tuesday, January 18th, 2011Frontpage
As you can read in my “fairy tales”
I am regularly going nuts.
There only a
TESTICLE CUSHION
can help.
Bildquelle (Dr.Paul Koch)
There is a suitable medical device for almost everything.
Translator BL
Fax to my general practitioner!
Tuesday, November 30th, 2010
Crazy Flash IV Addendum
Friday, October 29th, 2010Frontpage
The fire department in Frankfurt has upgraded and switched to
Emergency vehicles with pedals
Please note the blue fire water bucket on the front.
Translator BL
Crazy Flash V
Tuesday, July 13th, 2010Frontpage
The most odd stories happen to us wheelers.
Here is a great story from… let’s call her Maria:
Yesterday at the groceries:
In our shopping center there is a big supermarket,
nice staff, very helpful.
Regularly trainees at the counter who are asking
if they may pack your groceries.
I am rolling through the cashier with a
big water melon
(I could live on these tasty things, yummy!)
and a
zucchini.
I pay, everything alright.
Then the question of the ca. 18-year-old trainee:
“Are you OK, or shall I pop it in for you?”
I am looking at the melon and the zucchini and alternately at him…
…laughed myself into stitches… and answer:
“Neither one nor the other, thanks.”
But you may pack the melon and the zucchini into the net behind my back.
With such friendly staff you are happy to come back!
Translator BL
Crazy Flash IV
Tuesday, July 6th, 2010Startseite
Die derzeitige miserable schlechte Wirtschaftslage zwingt Städte und Kommunen neue Wege zu beschreiten.
Die Kassen sind leer.
Alle neu eingestellten Mitarbeiter der Berufsfeuerwehr mĂĽssen jetzt ihre
Einsatzfahrzeuge
in Heimarbeit selbst anfertigen.
Das THW hat ähnliche Schwierigkeiten.
Hier Modell “Frankfurt” mit Wegfahrsperre.
An der Feuerbeständigkeit wird noch gearbeitet.
Crazy Flash III
Friday, July 2nd, 2010Sorry, this entry is only available in Deutsch.
