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Collective suicide of the disabled parking place labels!
The silver-coloured car on the first picture has a parking permit, the driver of the black car is suffering from the widely spread chronic “Offroad Dementia”.
Translator BL
Archive for the ‘General’ Category
Special Edition!!
Wednesday, August 17th, 2011Please park all on disabled parking places, then I can discontinue my blood pressure pills!
Monday, August 8th, 2011Frontpage
I probably get on your nerves with my handicap parking stories in the long run, but I can’t hold back this “fairy tale”, once again on the parking lot of the supermarket with the big L, from you.
The front two of four opposing disabled parking places were occupied by DPB’s*. I parked my car with appropriate distance, so that I could open the door completely, on the next parking place. So far, so good.
When I came out of the supermarket with my wife, my blood pressure raised rapidly. While I was doing the groceries someone squeezed his matchbox car next to mine.
The front car was gone in the meantime, however this didn’t help me on any further. It was a
DĂ©jĂ vu
(see older blogpost).
My wife stowed the groceries into the trunk while I drove quite rapidly into the supermarket again and announced the number plate of the vehicle in barker style.
When I arrived at the cash desk after my lap of honour I saw two guys in their early twenties standing next to my new favourite car, who were “instructed” by my wife.
They seemed understanding, but when I approached them I couldn’t suppress to ask them loudly about the “whistling” of my recently passed away “pig“ (translator’s note: German idiomatic expression for “Blow me down!”: “I think my pig whistles!”)
For the driver the situation was apparently unpleasant and he apologized several times, which slowly made me feel uneasy. He said he hadn’t seen that he was parking on a disabled parking place. I criticized the bad labeling already a couple of weeks ago, and it was promised to me to change it (see older blogpost).
I believed him.
For me the small dispute was long settled when he opened his trunk, took out one chocolate and one vanilla pudding with cream and absolutely wanted to give those to me as apology.
Of course I denied it, I was embarrassed and I felt already sorry for complaining.
The two guys drove away, and what was put on my rear window shelf,
2 cream puddings.
One minute later an around 45 year old guy parked his black “mobile home” (SUV) directly in front of me on the opposing disabled parking place. I asked him if he knew that this was a disabled parking place. He confirmed this and said that he was disabled. Then he grumbled and drove away again when I asked him about the parking permit.
Does anybody have an idea which handicap he could have had?
Write a comment.
*Disabled Parking Blockers
Addendum 13,08.11: “Pudding booty” tasted good! 
Translator BL
Addendum Technical Aids Tips and Tricks XIV
Friday, August 5th, 2011
Frontpage
Addendum to
Swedish laptop knee table Bräda (new name BYLLAN)
I have introduced this laptop table as rather cheap, useful wheelchair tray.
The writer and musician Robert Schneider volunteered courageously as Bräda tester.
He is known for his extravagant-hessian writing style (www.laufenverlernt.de.vu).
I mentioned one of his books in an older blogpost.
He took the knee tray Bräda through extra tough quality tests.
Despite of the little bit too soft surface board I was positively surprised.
Here during a transport test with additional tray, at speed of exactly 11 km/h with
3 liters hop blossom ice tea and 6 x 0,5 liter pints
Due to safety reasons, this test is mainly executed with dummies.
A typo has slipped in, it was at 0,11 km/h.
Translator BL
Technical Aids Tips and Tricks XLII
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011Frontpage
I have extensively described my enthusiasm about a cooling vest (see older blogpost).
Yesterday evening I have tested a
cooling baseball cap from the company Cooline
www.e-cooline.de
Actually unbelievable, but you are sitting with a black cap in the sun at 28°C in the shade with your head being cooled.
“Only” water is put on this cap, like on the vest, about 0,3 liter. The fleece on the inside of the cap absorbs the water, and the cap virtually sweats and cools.
Ingenious!!!
Unfortunately my match was cancelled, I forgot my tennis shoes.
Translator BL
Crazy Flash Part VIII
Monday, August 1st, 2011Frontpage
Apparently it has gotten around that I am not one of the tallest any more with my 1,38 m in the wheelchair.
This
notice on the door of my flat
of an outside company is a real hit…
So somebody actually thought ahead, or it was a hobbit
Please note as well the perceived 12 kg
key chains
With the whole weight in my neck I am always hoping that my titanium vertebra is not breaking…
Translator BL
Eigude Shame IX
Thursday, July 28th, 2011Frontpage
Does this international hotel chain want to address especially wheelchair users?
Promo vehicle
Original text of the e-mail to the company on the driver’s door:
Dear Sirs,
I would like to draw your attention to the fact that this kind of “promotion” (see photos) is not well received by us wheelchair users, especially because your vehicle is blocking two disabled parking places at once.
When your vehicle arrived I was in my wheelchair getting into my car on the next parking place!
Click on tag handicap parking to read other “nice” stories.
Translator BL
Technical Aids Tips und Tricks XLI
Tuesday, July 26th, 2011
Frontpage
After a few months in the hospital you get on rather friendly terms with nurses and physicians.
Of course a little piece of humour belongs to it as well.
If one as quadriplegic (spinal injury in the cervical area) like me can’t use arms and hands in an efficient way any more, spaghetti are not the favourite type of pasta.
One day the nurse came with the lunch, it was spaghetti, put it on my bedside table and was waiting for my comment if he could cut the pasta for me.
He was waiting for the comment in vain. I tried to eat these long objects by myself, have to see it sportingly, luckily I was not hungry…
It was a perfect show!!!
At some time a physician came into the room and watched this scenario with the pasta and me slightly grinning, but didn’t propose to cut the pasta neither, and I wasn’t keen on asking her.
I said to her that next time when the food is spaghetti again I would be motorised. I would only need two tie wraps to fix a fork. But had the suspicion that my milk frother would be a little bit too fast. We both had some fun. She didn’t seriously believe the thing about motorisation.
I only thought: You don’t know me!!!
Have a look yourself, one week later the
9,5 Volt Spaghetti Tetra Fork
About risks and generated injuries please contact your physician, nurse or nearest do-it-yourself-store staff.
Addendum: Construction manual for spaghetti tetra bit by popular request.
Saw a standard fork off and forge it flat. Really flat.
Saw approx. 5 cm off an M6 Allen key and weld it lengthwise to the fork stump. Not to the tine, I know it can happen!!!
Polish the welding seam with a one hand angle grinder. If possible keep a little bit of the welding.
Balance the bit at low speed on a drill press with a rubber mallet like a car tyre. Placing additional weight is not absolutely necessary.
Buy a cordless electric screwdriver with very low rotation speed, otherwise the special fork can be used to whip cream.
Boil spaghetti, and it’s done.
Safety instruction: Don’t start screwdriver with fork brought into the mouth, otherwise only the dentist will be happy.
Have fun with dotting your flat red!
Translator BL
Chock Part IIX
Monday, July 25th, 2011Frontpage
With a flat tyre on the wheelchair a
pit stop
is essential.
This wheeler was lucky to be on the road with Makin’Track .
Dave is “Makin Track” and comes from Wales. He has got a bus for 5 wheelers and accompanies them not only in England but in the whole of Europe to their holiday destination. He is driving ahead in his bus with the whole equipment, and the guest can travel with him or fly relaxed to the destination. There you are able to drink and drive with wheelchair and bus.
He repaired the tyre in Formula 1 manner in record-breaking time.
This was in Crete, his next assignment was not so far away, in Switzerland.
Translator BL
With a flat tyre on the wheelchair a
pit stop
is essential.
This wheeler was lucky to be on the road with Makin’Track .
Dave is “Makin Track” and comes from Wales. He has got a bus for 5 wheelers and accompanies them not only in England but in the whole of Europe to their holiday destination. He is driving ahead in his bus with the whole equipment, and the guest can travel with him or fly relaxed to the destination. There you are able to drink and drive with wheelchair and bus.
He repaired the tyre in Formula 1 manner in record-breaking time.
This was in Crete, his next assignment was not so far away, in Switzerland.
Translator BL
Crazy Flash Part VII
Saturday, July 23rd, 2011Frontpage
Have a look yourself, even I don’t have words…
Unfortunately you have to endure the commercial first, and the comment is only in German!!!
Note: Next time going to the Swedes, always take a saw for viewing window.
Translator BL
Recently in front of the supermarket with the big “L”
Thursday, July 21st, 2011Frontpage
Legal traffic regulations are applied on this parking lot!!!
There are 4 designated disabled parking places at the entrance. 2 opposing on each side.
After the groceries, I was parking without bad conscience on one of these parking places, I was rather astonished.
Somebody managed to park with a “Smart” on the opposing 2 disabled parking places in such way that both places were blocked. This was a real effort, remarkable.
Unfortunately I was too slow, the creative parker just came out of the supermarket when I was still digging for my camera. Unfortunately I was already sitting in my car, what a shame, or luck for the lady!!!
My wife asked the lady why she was parking on disabled parking places?
These parking places would be for people who cannot “walk” and not for people who cannot “park”!!
She replied where this was “standing” that this would be a disabled parking place???
I just shouted from the car: You are “standing” on it!
She was standing with her feet on the
Wheelchair symbol!!!
I have to admit, the symbol is really a bit “scraped off”.
I have informed the company L. concerning this matter. They answered by phone and convincingly assured me to renew the symbol as soon as possible and improve the signage so that nobody would park again “by oversight” on a disabled parking place.
The company L. had already 2 years ago removed a curb and raised the walkway after I pointed that out to them.
Very customer oriented, a very commendable company in this regard.
By the way, visually impaired are entitled to park on disabled parking places, but they are usually not the driver.
Link: Old, but unbeatable!!!
Pedestrians are parking on a disabled parking place!!!
They get involuntary help in leaving the car by Theo West (RTL, German TV).
Translator BL
Eigude Shame XVIII
Wednesday, July 20th, 2011Frontpage
Today some innovative ideas of my city Frankfurt/Main!!!
Gully cover
in road construction usually are built kindly with “slots” in travel direction. In this case so that the wheeler can drive into the slots with his front tyres and doesn’t roll away when he is waiting for the lift. Unfortunately it was forgotten to illuminate the “waiting gully”, but this will certainly be realized in the next few days.
We wheelers are happy about every piece of cobble stone. It is better for us than some medication. The jolting supports the digestion at its best.
Thus especially commendable is this
“New Disabled Parking Place”
It was designed according to the latest findings from the handicap area. Please note the joints between the stones which probably were not closed on purpose so that the wheelchair doesn’t roll away when getting out of the car. After getting out you keep “standing” safely next to the car. The different heights of the stones facilitate the car-floor-transfer, because the wheelchair is standing ergonomically on 3 wheels. Especially commendable is that the curbs are on grade neither to the street nor to the pavement, so that curb jumping can be practiced.
The width of the joints exactly match the size of the wheelchair tyres, somebody really took great efforts.
Thank you road traffic department Frankfurt, I am proud of you!!!
Translator BL
(Deutsch) Nachtrag zum Artikel vom 29.06.2011 ĂĽber eine KĂĽhlweste!
Tuesday, July 19th, 2011Sorry, this entry is only available in Deutsch.
Football Women’s World Cup Part III
Monday, July 18th, 2011Frontpage
Final Japan-USA 5:3
Yesterday I had to go again to the stadium, this time fortunately to the final, the whole football world cup slowly gets tiresome.
So one would fancy a little drive with the wheelchair, and once again gets a parking place directly at the stadium entrance assigned.
I had taken out again another football shirt, I thought red to be suitable, the other fans were partially dressed up as if the match was in a carnival city!
So you are looking forward to a cozy 90-minute not too stressful women’s football match, and nothing like that. My beloved SLR camera gave up the ghost already before the match, but my “Little Conan” was in a good mood.
It already started excellently. Before the match 1000 colourfully dressed, slightly confused people were running around on the field, trampling down the lawn and calling it final ceremony.
A glass ball, so what…
There was even a little bit of music…
Afterwards the match finally started!
In front of me there was an unqualified foolish clatterer with a kind of castanets shaped as black-red-golden hands. She got on my nerves with her clattering that much that I almost sacrificed half a liter of cider to extinct her confusion!!!
My “parking position“ in the stadium wasn’t too great. From there you could see too well how the Americans constantly dropped the ball.
After 90 minutes it started to get rather cold. Although the stadium roof was closed the heating was probably out of order. This permanent delay of the game by the Japanese players slowly got on my nerves. I was feeling cold, and they permanently scored an equalizing goal. Couldn’t they simply let the Americans win, then I wouldn’t have a cold now and no flat butt either. In the 120th minute the Japanese collected a red card and even got the fairplay reward of the tournament for this…
During the penalty shoot-out my mood hit rock bottom. The Americans still have to practice the 11 meter distance. They almost managed to score the ball underneath the goal.
What flight attendants are doing at the award ceremony they probably don’t know themselves, they certainly have lost their way, the airport is nearby.
When the Japanese finally held the cup in their hands they made a real mess in the stadium. They threw golden emergency blankets cut into pieces from above onto our holy Frankfurt lawn.
My ears are still buzzing from the noise of the fireworks, and because of the closed roof I haven’t even seen anything.
When I finally got outside it started raining, and afterwards I stood with the car in a traffic jam. I won’t forget the final too soon.
Oh, the effect of my medication fades away. It was a great football match yesterday!!!
Translator BL
Final Japan-USA 5:3
Yesterday I had to go again to the stadium, this time fortunately to the final, the whole football world cup slowly gets tiresome.
So one would fancy a little drive with the wheelchair, and once again gets a parking place directly at the stadium entrance assigned.
I had taken out again another football shirt, I thought red to be suitable, the other fans were partially dressed up as if the match was in a carnival city!
So you are looking forward to a cozy 90-minute not too stressful women’s football match, and nothing like that. My beloved SLR camera gave up the ghost already before the match, but my “Little Conan” was in a good mood.
It already started excellently. Before the match 1000 colourfully dressed, slightly confused people were running around on the field, trampling down the lawn and calling it final ceremony.
A glass ball, so what…
There was even a little bit of music…
Afterwards the match finally started!
In front of me there was an unqualified foolish clatterer with a kind of castanets shaped as black-red-golden hands. She got on my nerves with her clattering that much that I almost sacrificed half a liter of cider to extinct her confusion!!!
My “parking position“ in the stadium wasn’t too great. From there you could see too well how the Americans constantly dropped the ball.
After 90 minutes it started to get rather cold. Although the stadium roof was closed the heating was probably out of order. This permanent delay of the game by the Japanese players slowly got on my nerves. I was feeling cold, and they permanently scored an equalizing goal. Couldn’t they simply let the Americans win, then I wouldn’t have a cold now and no flat butt either. In the 120th minute the Japanese collected a red card and even got the fairplay reward of the tournament for this…
During the penalty shoot-out my mood hit rock bottom. The Americans still have to practice the 11 meter distance. They almost managed to score the ball underneath the goal.
What flight attendants are doing at the award ceremony they probably don’t know themselves, they certainly have lost their way, the airport is nearby.
When the Japanese finally held the cup in their hands they made a real mess in the stadium. They threw golden emergency blankets cut into pieces from above onto our holy Frankfurt lawn.
My ears are still buzzing from the noise of the fireworks, and because of the closed roof I haven’t even seen anything.
When I finally got outside it started raining, and afterwards I stood with the car in a traffic jam. I won’t forget the final too soon.
Oh, the effect of my medication fades away. It was a great football match yesterday!!!
Translator BL
Football Women’s World Cup Part II
Thursday, July 14th, 2011Frontpage
Semi final: Sweden – Japan 1:3
Yesterday it was raining only once. It started in the morning at 07:45. It was raining, raining, and in between it was raining as well.
Rainy weather and wheelchair, that doesn’t fit. When you are travelling alone with an umbrella, you are always driving around in circles
The only positive thing with rain is, it doesn’t hurt!!!
Unbelievable, but God is a football fan…
Just in time before the kick-off the pouring rain stopped, and all 46000 fans arrived with dry hair at the Frankfurt stadium to the semi final Sweden vs. Japan. The Wet T-Shirt Contest would have been omitted anyway as the stadium roof was closed to be on the safe side.
Because I am supporting the playing technique of the Swedes, the visual appearance of the ladies doesn’t interest me in no way, all contradictory claims would be a lie, I went to the stadium together with my wife in the best mood.
My yellow Eintracht Frankfurt Tetra-Pack football shirt from the 90s (see older blogpost), was virtually made for this event. About the match I remain silent.
Japan has deservedly won, will I be rolling to the final against the US?
Translator BL
Semi final: Sweden – Japan 1:3
Yesterday it was raining only once. It started in the morning at 07:45. It was raining, raining, and in between it was raining as well.
Rainy weather and wheelchair, that doesn’t fit. When you are travelling alone with an umbrella, you are always driving around in circles
The only positive thing with rain is, it doesn’t hurt!!!
Unbelievable, but God is a football fan…
Just in time before the kick-off the pouring rain stopped, and all 46000 fans arrived with dry hair at the Frankfurt stadium to the semi final Sweden vs. Japan. The Wet T-Shirt Contest would have been omitted anyway as the stadium roof was closed to be on the safe side.
Because I am supporting the playing technique of the Swedes, the visual appearance of the ladies doesn’t interest me in no way, all contradictory claims would be a lie, I went to the stadium together with my wife in the best mood.
My yellow Eintracht Frankfurt Tetra-Pack football shirt from the 90s (see older blogpost), was virtually made for this event. About the match I remain silent.
Japan has deservedly won, will I be rolling to the final against the US?
Translator BL
Eigude Shame XVII
Wednesday, July 13th, 2011Frontpage
My suspicion is that construction engineers compress their planning to the most confined space not because building sites are so expensive, but only for that reason because they would otherwise need to print another piece of paper!
Everybody knows it, when you are writing a letter on the PC and the text doesn’t fit onto one page, you also try with smaller line spacing and font to squeeze everything onto one page.
In a building in the neighbourhood a new emergency stair case with new entrance area was built in the record-breaking time of two years.
They have taken much effort that the residents of the neighbouring houses will still remember the reconstructions years later.
I was positively surprised that on the side of the entrance a small
Outside lift for wheelchairs
was built. Great thing because in this building there are living also many old and frail people who may need a wheelchair in a couple of years.
We generously overlook the stair on the left with which the waste disposal is made a little difficult for us “travelling people”.
I am actually not concerned any more, but how can you construct such an extremely
Steep Stairway.
The stairs are very high and consist even out of polished granite. The lady on the picture had greatest difficulties to climb the entrance with her walking stick. There would have been more than enough space to front for the stairway construction, but as mentioned probably the paper was too small. The guy who is responsible for the construction of this stairway should be accused for attempted injury.
After the next winter the fresh wheelers due to a downfall from the stairs will probably queue in front of the outside lift!!
Translator BL
