Posts Tagged ‘Compresses’

Addendum: Chock Part XIII It’s my fault!

Saturday, May 5th, 2012

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In my blogpost of 14.04.12 I expressed the suspicion (see older blogpost), that I am possibly a God of wrong deliveries, because I NEVER receive the ordered medication and medical devices.

Yesterday the time had come again, yet again the wrong compresses!!

My e-mail was rather short, but with

Memory picture for the warehouse staff

From the medical supply store I received a reply immediately:

…what should I say, I think the previous e-mail is self-explanatory!!!

The picture is going to be my new background ;) )

I even had your case in our department meeting, your name should ring a bell… I don’t know what else I can do… I am really sorry!

 

Shortly afterwards I received the following e-mail in copy:

Please note the 31 exclamation marks in only 7 sentences.

Hello altogether, AND ESPECIALLY DEAR COLLEAGUES FROM OUR WAREHOUSE!!!!!!

It is not even a month ago that our customer Mr Rollinator took unbelievable 3 attempts to receive his compresses in the usual way!

NAMELY VYLENE COMPRESSES FROM MAIMED STERILE!!!!!!!!!

I don’t know why this is such a problem, but it simply can’t be true that the customer has received the wrong compresses yet AGAIN, especially because I have extra pointed out to you that you should look into the following already packed deliveries!!

I am glad that Mr Rollinator is simply an unbelievable patient person, but I would be FRANTIC!!!! And I seriously mean it!!

I don’t think it is funny, because unfortunately I don’t have any apologies left!

Please RETURN THE GOODS AND SEND THE CORRECT ONES AND CHANGE IT DIRECTLY FOR NEXT TIME!!!!!!

(Original colour of the e-mail, name changed)

Translator BL

Chock Part XIII: It’s my fault!

Saturday, April 14th, 2012

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When I am every 3 months at the beginning of each quarter jumping into the snake pit marked by the sign

“Required medication and medical devices”

I globally put the blame on myself meanwhile. If nothing works out right away despite all my efforts, it has to be up to myself, otherwise it is not explicable to me anymore.

In the novel “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” by Doulas Adams there is a truck driver who is always on the road in the rain. Unbelievable… he is a rain god, he just doesn’t know it himself.

It is probably similar with me and my orders of medication and medical devices, otherwise I would have to claim that nobody does his work properly anymore, and I don’t want to be assumptive.

After I paid my 10 €-membership fee every 3 months (translator’s note: as a member of a public health insurance in Germany you have to pay a surcharge of 10 € per quarter for medical consultation) the fun begins. I get a bunch of prescriptions from my family physician, where you can’t expect at 16 positions that everything is filled out correctly. It must be my karma that even the corrected prescriptions include minor errors sometimes.

If everything is correct, the prescriptions are split in two piles, medical devices and medication prescriptions, and then scanned immediately, because I don’t trust myself anymore.

I would like to point out here that I always pretty much need the same stuff.

I place the order of the medical devices per e-mail and attach the scanned prescriptions, and I send the original prescriptions by good old mail later.

For my pharmacy order I use a conventional telephone. The probability that I receive all pills as ordered in the correct quantities and from the correct producer is virtually zero and belongs into the realms of fantasy.

You can’t seriously expect that in a subsequent delivery with 3 boxes on the delivery slip also 3 boxes are included. With 2 boxes still 66% are correct, grade D, passing, okay…

The quantity of pills was correct this time, for a change the delivery slip wasn’t.

Now the delivery guy has put a box of pills in my mailbox which I will return personally today, whereupon I am convinced that I will hold exactly this box in my hands in 3 months time, this is not Aspirin.

Why is it not working, it can only be up to me…

It is not better with my medical devices.

Due to the so-called direct shipments I receive my materials from 4 different deliverers, who honour me with their visit between 10 and 19 h.

The guys always want to put the cartons on my knees and get off, I don’t like this at all. In the evening my corridor wall with all its boxes reminds a bit of the Berlin Wall.

In one of the warehouses they seem to have too much cardboard boxes and filling material. For 4 boxes of compresses and 1 liter skin cleaner they use a box of 60cm x 60 cm. As my friend usually says: Logistics doesn’t have anything to do with logic.

This time it was even the wrong type of compresses, they can pick up their box again, in the meantime it will stand in my way again. Maybe in an act of revenge I will put some old files from my apprenticeship into the box.

I don’t want to get upset anymore and I keep it with Douglas Adams:

I am probably a

God of Wrong Deliveries.

If everything would work out well at once I could certainly take some pills less.

Translator BL

My “luminaries” from the medical supply store

Thursday, February 3rd, 2011

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Everybody who knows me better knows that it is almost impossible to silence me without threat of brute force.

Yesterday it was about time again:

Call at the medical supply store:

Ring, ring..

Hello, here medical supply store Deliverix*, my name is Ignorix*!

Good afternoon, my name is Löw (that’s my real name), may I talk to Ms Compressi* please?

Just a moment, (waiting loop: please hold the line, please hold the line…)

Ms Compressi* is at lunch…, what’s the matter?

I would like to know if my delivery is on its way!

Why didn’t you just say that, what’s your name?
(Her tonality was quite snappy.)

Löw!

Lo, Lö , Loe, what’s your name?…

Löw, like the coach of the German national football team!

Löw, the name reminds me of something… (national football coach???)

Löw, I don’t know…, I don’t know… what is your first name?

Steffen

Löw, Löw… there was something… just a moment, (please hold the line…)

My PC today… Löw, Löw, I know the name… (please hold the line…)

Your delivery is on its way!

Now I know why I know your name:

I have packed your parcel!!!

I could still utter a “Have a nice day”, then my head sunk slowly onto my desk.

Today I was quite surprised that the correct goods were in the parcel. Usually this is packed by weight. Therefore the delivery note was missing today. So what…

*Names were falsified!

Translator BL