Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category

Chock Part XV

Monday, October 31st, 2016

Sorry, this entry is only available in Deutsch.

Chock Part XV

Friday, February 19th, 2016


Paper chase in district court

Yesterday I had some business at the district court in my hometown Frankfurt. Public buildings should by now be all accessible, but I had to go to building A, an old venerable building from 1889. At that time there wasn’t much concern about accessibility…


So I called in advance and got the information that in order to avoid steps I had to enter though building E to get to building A. First, at security control I had to hand over my set of wrenches, one that every experienced wheelchair driver always has on board. Perhaps I could kill someone or gouge out someone’s eyes?!?

Quelle: Hornbach

So off to building E, into the elevator, up to the 1. floor. Then through the dusty hallways, follow the signs “transition to building A” – almost like in a scavenger hunt! At some point I stood in front of this ramp… positive thought first: there is a ramp, yay! However, it is significantly steeper than the specified 6% according to DIN180 40-1… and also a little steeper than the training course at rehab. Although, I know some wheelies, that would have a blast down this “Rolli slide”!

Then continue the search for the next elevator, back down to the ground floor. Then find the right room… fortunately it was the last door before the next steps.

Somehow we found our way back, but not before landing in a cul-de-sac first ……

Next time I’ll scatter breadcrumbs!!!

Translator BL



Sunday, January 17th, 2016


In the last few months I experienced a wide variety of therapies that even I, as some kind of “professional patient”, was not aware they’d exist.

One day my therapy plan stated “arm bath” among other things. I couldn’t imagine what in the world this meant.

A bath for arms? – Kneipp Kur for the less affluent? Maybe the doctors should know my account balance ahead of treatment?

It turned out that the ominous “arm bath therapy” really was a water bath for my two upper limbs.

Was it necessary? Did I really need that?

The dark colored water in the picture should not be mistaken as an indication for my dirty hands – it was caused by an added rosemary essence to promote circulation. After such treatment one has to be careful not to bite into his own little finger ;)

Anyway, after an unsuccessful thirty minute search for a dirt stain on the tiles of the wall, I didn’t have any better idea of how to pass the time, the therapist came back and asked me how I liked the treatment. My honest answer was “Well, my two hands are now clean, very clean”!

For some reason this type of bath therapy disappeared from my future treatment plan :-)

Translator BW

New savetysystem detected in Sri Lanka

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015


The traffic in Sri Lanka for us Europeans takes some time to get used to. As a training camp I recommend Frankfurt “Platz der Republic” during rush hour and a fair; driving through junctions, honking horns and squeezing through anything… and somewhere in between still fits a tuk-tuk or a moped.

This is called efficient road use – keeping a safety distance is wasted asphalt ;-) During the past 15 years a lot has happened with the infrastructure, but somehow pedestrian crosswalks are still perceived as decoration, and cows and elephants always have the right of way anyway … aahh … or so.

Using the horn is prohibited in front of temples, and this is really the ONLY traffic rule obeyed!!!

This moped rider shows some astounding creativity in developing a new innovative safety concept for two-wheelers, at the same time bio-airbag, side impact protection and spacer. For this purpose he uses renewable raw materials in form of jackfruits.

Other than the cushioning effect in accidents ripe jackfruits spread such a stench that no other vehicle dares to get closer than a few feet. However, the improvement of the aerodynamics is negatively offset by the increase of the total weight of 150 kg – from zero to 50 in 2 minutes. To read the complede “Sri Lanka- serial” ,

click here.

Translator BW

Helicopter flight above Sri Lanka

Sunday, May 31st, 2015


Sri Lanka, all that green and no apple trees

We were suitably picked up by a driver named “Amigo”, sporting aviator mirror sunglasses, in a silver-colored Hummer (as labeled on the hood, yet with a Honda logo at the steering wheel) and brought to the military airport in Colombo.

We were greeted by a welcome committee ready with a wheelchair, in which Lieutenant Dan probably sat already. Fortunately, they let me use my own.

We were the only tourists at the entire airport. The security chief himself took care of us right away. Our tour guide did honor to his name when he was suddenly back in the security area before us, because the security chief happened to be an old classmate of his.

Meanwhile the four bored immigration attendants were waiting in their turquoise blue saris for the end of their work day.

A golf cart pulled up equipped with mountings for flags, so strictly speaking a diplomat’s car. I started to feel like celebrity ;-) After some negotiation I was allowed to make the 100 meters to the launch site in my chair. For that I was accompanied by one of the turquoise wrapped ladies as a personal umbrella holder and also by two of my very own security guards. In my entourage puttered the golf cart with the three other passengers, one more sari-lady and even more security. Did I have a sign “Follow Me” on my vest?!

Arriving at the helicopter we were greeted by the pilot while another three men came from the hangar. I guess, I was the highlight of the day, perhaps even month, and everybody wanted to be there when the crazy white wheelchair man boarded the helicopter.

Approx. twelve men stood around me and waited for a command, how to best get me up and in there (seat height was about 1.40 m). The well proven safety grip did not work in this case.

As a result my old dream of a palanquin wheelchair was almost met, when four men lifted my wheelchair up to entrance height, from where I could with the help of my slide board comfortably slide on to the seat. This way my slide board literally turned in to a flight board ;-) The ground troops were thrilled! For a short while I felt like sitting on a throne, since everybody else was still down on the ground. I was tempted to wave to my people like the Queen, but then rather decided on a shy thumbs-up. What an uplifting feeling! It is indeed very special for someone who sits in a wheelchair, to suddenly be the tallest person around ;-)

We were flying towards the middle of the island to Kandy, and the pilot managed nicely to stay ahead of the looming monsoon rains.

The view of the island was, particularly of the highlands, comparable with the landscapes that one knows from films like Platoon and Forrest Gump. Everything is green, tea plantations and more palm trees than I have ever seen in 1 1/2 hours (and no apple trees – no apple trees, just pineapples!)

Shortly before landing, the pilot radioed that he needed more time to get ground clearance, since he had a wheelchair on board. To us this seemed a little exaggerated, because there was certainly not any more traffic than at the airport Kassel-Calden at rush-hour, (one plane the day). But everything must have its order ;-)

Back on the ground we already saw two men, who pushed my wheelchair from the hangar. One of them examined my sliding board from all sides in sheer fascination. I suspect he started that evening to work the jigsaw ; -) He must have been quite disappointed when it wasn’t used again for the transfer back from the helicopter…

Instead, the classical safety grip/throwing technique came to use, so that after the roundtrip the departure happened by a wheelchair spot landing. The Pilot was obviously impressed, because he said: “I know my game”.

On the way back the same welcome committee was awaiting us including umbrella holder, security guards and golf cart. The weather god was also gracious and only changed his mind after I was safe in my wheelchair again. Then the sky opened and the monsoon season greeted us. My personal umbrella holder kept walking next to me, unmoved by the fact that she got drenched, but she probably was used to this kind of downpour – her only comment was “It’s just rain”.

I would have liked to show you more evidence, but since we are talking about a military airport and members of the military, we held back a little on the photo shooting. A checkup of the accessibility of the local military jail was not part of the itinerary…

To read the complede “Sri Lanka- serial” , click here.

Translator BW

Addendum Technical Aids Tips and Tricks XXXIII

Friday, February 27th, 2015

Sorry, this entry is only available in German.


Ich hatte in einem älteren Artikel berichtet, dass ich einen eigenen Türspion in Hobbithöhe in meiner Wohnungstür montiert habe, siehe älteren Blog.

Dort fehlte bisher eine passende Abdeckung auf der Innenseite und ich wollte nicht wie meine Oma einen Streifen Leukoplast oder ein Pflaster darĂĽber kleben.

Das Projekt ist endlich beendet.

Es war schon seit Monaten geplant, dass mir ein Kumpel ein Loch in eine MĂĽnze oder in irgendeine andere runde Scheibe bohrt und wir diese dann an die TĂĽr schrauben.

Ich hatte die ganze Zeit den Gedanken, so eine passende Scheibe mit Loch schon einmal irgendwo gesehen zu haben.

Ich fuhr schon seit Monaten ohne zu Wissen, das passende Ersatzteil mit mir rum. Hin und wieder sollte man in seinem Portemonnaie schauen, da gibt es nicht nur das Geld fĂĽr Ersatzteile, sondern auch manchmal das Passende…!!!

Die Ă„hnlichkeit ist verblĂĽffend,… gell…??? ;-)

Ich sollte vielleicht etwas genauer mein Portemonaie durchsuchen, ich brauche auch neue Sommerreifen.

Hier geht’s,…ääh..fährt man zur

Crazy Flash XVIII

Monday, December 15th, 2014

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Crazy Flash XXVI

Monday, December 8th, 2014

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Find of the Week

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2014

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Ghost Bathroom

Friday, October 31st, 2014


In a designated wheelchair hotel it goes without saying that the bathrooms are accessible and have an accessible shower.

Bathtubs are only used rarely by us wheelers.
Here some Spanish mechanics really have bricked up the former bath tub and made a storage rack out of it. I like!

My wife as a pedestrian felt discriminated.

Taking a closer examination, it could also be a

Sacrophagus of a tomb

You better don’t ask the question if there is still anybody lying in it.

Translator BL

Crazy Flash XXV

Tuesday, August 5th, 2014

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Safety Warning!

Friday, June 13th, 2014

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Crazy Flash XXIV

Wednesday, May 28th, 2014

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FIFA- World Cup 2014 Part I

Sunday, May 11th, 2014

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Crazy Flash XXIII

Wednesday, February 26th, 2014

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