Sorry, this entry is only available in Deutsch.
(Deutsch) Eigude- Pranger I
April 6th, 2010Technical Aids Tips and Tricks VIII
April 2nd, 2010
Frontpage
Everybody who knew me before my accident should still remember that I was a quite good dancer.
The thought would have been absurd that I would ever acquire a
dancing pole
for my own four walls,
especially because classic ballet was none of my favourite dancing styles.
Now as passive dancer I have let me built a
stainless steel pole
and fix it to the wall.
However the intended use of this pole is different.
I place myself with my
race wheelchair
next to my
standing device
(this is not a wheelchair)
and transfer over with my dancing pole and slide board and with the help of unnamed volunteers.
Now I’m buckled up, and I am
„standing on my own two feet again“.
Good that I am not on the picture, so at least you can’t see my pot belly.
Translator BL
Technical Aids Tips and Tricks VII
April 1st, 2010
Frontpage
As self-confessed hobbit with 1,38 m total height forehead top sitting in the wheelchair you have to confess every now and then that the upward reach is a little limited.
My well-tried
key hooks
suddenly have a perceived height of 2,10 m after my accident.
If you aren’t a friend of the fishing sport then taking down the keys turns out to be a bit tedious and can be dangerous.
The usage of safety glasses and helmet is mandatory.
The
Yellow North European Furniture Elks
are offering a
magnet holder for kitchen knives,
which I have declared as
vertical magnet key holder.
Watch out, there are two types.
One of the holders just succeeds to prevent a paper clip from falling down. 
Translator BL
Rollituning Part V
March 31st, 2010Ich bin so langsam ernsthaft am ĂĽberlegen, ob bei meinem Unfall das
Tuning-Gen
aktiviert wurde, als mir das Auto auf den Kopf fiel.
Seinen Rolli mit zusätzlichen
Reflektoren
zu bekleben, einen
Tacho und RĂĽcklicht
(siehe älteren Beitrag)
nachzurĂĽsten, ihn mit
Stoßdämpfern
Â
auszustatten,den
Kippschutz
zu modifizieren, die
Lager Â
auszutauschen, und das
RĂĽckenteil
von 3 verschiedenen Rollstuhlherstellern zusammenzufriemeln, wir wollen ja nicht
Die Maus
(siehe älteren Beitrag)
am Rucksack vergessen, erscheint ja irgendwie noch legitim.
Aus medizinischer Sicht sind sogar noch
CarbonkotflĂĽgel
vertretbar,aber mit
 2 Chromleisten,
den
24 Zoll Breitreifen*
*(ok, hoch statt breit)
(siehe älteren Beitrag)
und seiner Lederausstattung in Form meines neuen schwarzen
Nappa-Leder-Sitzkissenbezuges,
Â
nehme ich es jetzt mit meinem Rolli mit jedem
3er BMW
auf.
Ein StĂĽck korrekt Wurzelholz, 2 PlĂĽschwĂĽrfel und eine
8er Billardkugel bekomme ich auch noch irgendwie verbaut.
Ăśber die Sorte des Wunderbaumes wird derzeit noch gestritten!!
Ich kann beim Fahren beide Ellenbogen raushängen lassen 
Handicap Parking Part II
March 22nd, 2010Frontpage
Wonders will never cease!
Addendum to blogpost Handicap Parking Part I from 02.02.10
(see older blogpost)
Upon enquiry at the road traffic department they explained that
in spite of the signs
Absolute stopping restriction
I am allowed to park my car on the
disabled parking place designated for me even without handicap label.
In the meantime my disabled parking permit expired.
Hardly to believe, isn’t it? Once again the whole administration work.
When my car stood on my parking place the first 2 days in the year 2010 the storm hit us beginning of March!!!
My two favourite signs fell over and missed my car by around 10 cm.
That was close…
In retrospect:
The sign could have hit a car of my neighbours who always kept my parking place dry.
On Friday 19.03.2010 my parking place was finally labelled.
I would like to point out that I don’t blame the road traffic department of Frankfurt.
I will keep you posted about the number of the future compulsory relocated cars away from my disabled parking place.
Translator BL
Tetrapack II
March 21st, 2010
Frontpage
There is a football god after all!!!
I have reported in one of my first blogposts how another Eintracht Frankfurt football fan I didn’t know gave me his 17 year old
yellow Tetrapak Eintracht Frankfurt football shirt
(see older blogpost)
, which I was looking for.
As if I had anticipated it, I decided on Saturday 2 hours before kick-off of the match
Eintracht Frankfurt vs. Bayern Munich
to call my cousin to watch the match with him live on TV. I should mention that at this time Bayern Munich was unbeaten for the last 19 matches, and my cousin and I had endured the 0:4 home match loss against these Southern Germans half a year ago in the stadium.
Well then, my cousin had told his colleague my story with the yellow Tetrapak football shirt, whereupon he gave him a couple of weeks ago his old
red Tetrapak football shirt
for me.
Heaven only knows why Stefan came as well yesterday of all days to watch football with us.
Eintracht played great.
Within the last 4 minutes they could turn the 0:1 score with two goals and sent Bayern home with
2:1
The photo was made before the match.
It shows the girlfriend of my cousin, Stefan and me.
Translator BL
Technical Aids Tips and Tricks VI
March 21st, 2010Frontpage
In winter or rainy weather, almost all pedestrians take off their shoes in front of their door and sneak in socks over the laminate.
I absolutely appreciate that this makes sense when you have estimated 2 kg snow on the soles of your shoes
and you don’t like to go sledging in your flat.
You won’t believe how much snow or rain water can stick to a wheelchair.
Even the wiping of the wheelchair tyres with discarded towels is rather difficult if you are not a Paralympian or contortionist.
To counteract the spring tide in your flat
I have purchased a carpet as it is usually lying e.g. at the entrance of department stores and positioned it outside of my door in the staircase.
These carpets absorb up to 6 liters of water per m².
With its size of 230 cm x 120 cm my
wheelchair tyre cleaning carpet
(wheelchair doormat)
could actually absorb more than 16 liters rain water.
Before I roll into the flat I am doing two laps on the carpet in the staircase, and the wheelchair tyres are clean and dry.
Up to now the maximum “filling capacity” was not reached yet.
Translator BL
Rollituning Part IV
March 18th, 2010Frontpage
After winter season is over and snow is melted, finally my
special wheelchair winter tyres
are ready.
Because the wheelchair producers offer mountain bike wheelchair tyres for dumping prices as of 550 € on the open-ended scale,
I have decided while sitting in my flat during a snow drift to construct
offroad wheelchair winter tyres
myself and let it produce in small batch (two pieces).
I would like to point out that I have not copied anything,
the outcome should be reasonable after all.
The winter has just been too short!
Today I have the tyres on my wheelchair for the first time, and the snow is gone.
What a cheek.
OK, maybe instead
wheelchair downhill mountainbiking
Translator BL
Latest Project: Hand Cycle
March 7th, 2010Frontpage
I have bought the
hand cycle
with an extra amount of snow.
The costs of such a bike start from 2400€ when it’s new
(no typing error).
It doesn’t even have 2 wheels!!!
One day it should look like this (see newer blogposts).
I have to clean instead of writing
Still no clue how I should hold the handles…,
let alone how I should shift the gears?
The handles issue should work out somehow with lots of duct tape, construction foam, sanitary silicone and super glue so that I can hold them with my buckled fingers.
There is a variant to shift gears with the chin.
Attach a toothbrush to the lever,
and I sell the bike in Ebay in the beauty section for double the price.
Translator BL
Crazy Flash I
March 3rd, 2010Sorry, this entry is only available in Deutsch.
Technical Aids Tips and Tricks V
March 2nd, 2010Frontpage
It is always a little difficult to switch on and off electric devices sitting in a wheelchair.
There are always missing the commonly known 2 cm.
Not 1 cm, or 5 cm?
There are always 2 cm.
I have the theory that this results from mass inertia, momentum and black holes.
Here is the solution:
remote-controlled electrical sockets!!!
A remote-controlled Christmas Tree lighting is quite nice.
Radio coverage allegedly until 25 m. (Probably only at full moon on April 1st).
You can get regularly special offers for a pack of 4!
(15 €, not much more.)
If you buy the pack of 4 twice from the same manufacturer, you should change the radio frequency with the little DIP switches, (in German) also known as
mice piano
.
It might happen otherwise that the toilet light is switched on together with the coffee machine.
Well, maybe not so bad after all… let’s think about it again…
It is not complicated to change the switches.
Every quadriplegic who manages it should get a piece of cake or two from his occupational therapist.
Serious safety instruction:
Please always consider the max. switching power, around 1000 watt.
Never connect an electric heater, around 2000 watt!!!
The switches get hot and might start burning.
I have experimentally connected an electric heater, the electrical socket didn’t survive!!!
Should there be any difficulties with playing the keys (setting the switches) I am at your disposal as professional ”piano tutor” .
Have fun with the piano lesson.
Translator BL
Petitionsaufruf II
February 28th, 2010Ich hatte am 07.02. einen Petitionsaufruf gestartet, dass mir mit meinem 1,38 m sitzend im Rolli im Prinzip wieder die Scheibe Gelbwurst an der Fleischtheke zusteht und euch auch.
Free Gelbwoscht fĂĽr alle!
Glaubt es, oder nicht:
Am Freitag den 26.02 gab mir eine Ausgebildete Fleischfachverkäuferin in einem Hitmarkt in Frankfurt am Main, nachdem einem Kind von ca. 1,32 m Größe die Wurst quasi aufgedrängt wurde (es wollte eigentlich Corned Beef),
tatsächlich eine
Scheibe Gelbwoscht.
Ob es daran lag, ich erwähnte am Rande, dass ich mich diskriminiert fühlte, mag ich nicht beurteilen.
Zeugen können genannt werden.
Ihr seht, wehrt euch, kämpft für
Free Gelbwoscht fĂĽr alle!!
UnterstĂĽtzt meine Petition.
Quadriplegic Tips XV
February 23rd, 2010Frontpage
After the usual administrative chaos caused by all those who can cut a piece of paper gets currently out of hand, I feel a bit like the “Hauptmann von Köpenick” (synonym from German literature for a catch-22; without residence no work, without work no residence), and I have decided to take 3-4 valium more and turn again towards my
passion,
the technical aids for quadriplegics. What a sentence, the blue things are helping already, I am suddenly missing the fullstopslll
Knife, fork, scissors, flames, have no place in quadriplegic’s gamesl
That’s about true
To cut paper with a scissor is not funny,
especially when you like me can’t even press a clothespin.
If
scissor-type silhouettes
aren’t going to be the new hobby I can highly recommend a
Paper Guillotine,
one-arm-usage guaranteed “fullstop”.
The blue pills are ttzzzzzzzzz
Translator BL
Introducing the Mouse
February 21st, 2010Frontpage
When you have motor functions in hands and fingers like the Berlin wall you automatically keep everything tidy, otherwise you will drown into chaos.
My wheelchair rucksack contains more or less everything what you need to survive in the wild.
For me it takes some effort to take down the rucksack from the back of my wheelchair and rummage around into it to search for something which somebody has stuffed in there.
Probably scientists never have thought about:
Where on a rucksack is front and back?
This question should be clarified once and for all.
I have learnt once that on a car the front is always in driving direction when you are sitting inside.
Driving backwards doesn’t count.
Can I apply this to my wheelchair rucksack as well?
The wheelchair transport drivers always have asked me in which pocket of my rucksack was the card to debit the transport charges?
I would have liked to know it myself… Each time in a different place.
Is the small pocket on the front or the back of the rucksack?
This depends probably from the viewer’s perspective.
For me sitting in the wheelchair it is on the back, for some of the drivers it is on the front, or not???
A solution had to be found. At a visit of the regional broadcasting station I had bought
The “Maus”
(translator’s note: the mouse, popular German children TV character) and fixed it on one pocket of my rucksack.
From this day it only went:
With the mouse!
In the mouse pocket!
In the mouse trap!
Basically the result was quite good.
But now more or less everything is stuffed into the mouse pocket, so that there is a big mess now inside.
Will I have to switch to Walt Disney now and fix a whole toy armada to my rucksack to find the remote control for my stairlift?!
Donations of small accessories with key ring to mark the other pockets will be gladly accepted.
Wheelchair rucksack cuddly toys donation account
Some time I will confuse the drivers totally and fix the “Blue Elephant” (companion of the “Maus”) on my rucksack 
Translator BL
Bremskeil III
February 16th, 2010Ich hab aan
 Runnergesetzte Firmewaache
den da wo ich mit de Händ faahn kann,
von nem Audoumbauer gekaaft.
Die hawwe dann des mit dem
Â
TĂśV-Krembel
, weche dene Zettel fĂĽr die Umbaude
und der Ummeldung von da obbe in Hesse,
ins scheene Frankfort noch erledischt.
Ich hab des zumindestens geglaabt.
Ich fahr die Scherbel mit dene ihre Nummernschilder seit 8 Woche.
Wir waarn uns desteweche einisch.
Heut am
Â
Fastnachtsdienstdaach
bin ich uff die Zulassung hier in Frankfort gefaahn,
damit die Kist endlich eh paar gescheide
Â
F-Nummernschilder
Â
Â
kried.
Ach währ ich Dollbohrer doch anstatt da hii, nach
Â
Klaa Paris* zum Fastnachtsumzuch
Â
Â
gegange/gefaahn.
Die hawwe mir erzählt,
das weche de Europa und so,
mer seit dem April 09,
aufgrund dem §21 EG-FGV
die gegehmischte TĂśV-Umbautezettel,
nochema genemische muss.
Ich hab da ja nix degesche,
aber das weil die Annern des da vergesse ham,
ich jetzt mein Karren nemmer faahn derf,
find ich garnet witzisch.
Besonnerst die Herrn Umbauer hätte des wisse müsse,
was se net getaan hawwe.
Des is dene ihr Arbeit!.
Moie am Aschermittwoch sei ja alles vorbei…
Â
Frankfort Helau!
Â
*Spitzname eines Stadtteils von Frankfurt am Main
